Coming Home Again: A Lexi Hansen Story
by JamieMac26
Summary: DEADLIEST CATCH: Everything in Lexi's life is finally the way she wants it to be. She has a great family, her best friend, and a wonderful boyfriend. However, someone from her past decides to make a surprise appearance after a long absence.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I do not own or claim to own anyone that has to do with Deadliest Catch or the Discovery Channel, however, I do own my created characters and the scenarios that I put all the characters into. This story is a sequel to Off In The Distance and so you should read that one before reading this one, otherwise you will be lost and I won't be able to help you. I have reservations about this story and am not sure that it will take off the way I want it to, so please let me know what you think and any ideas or constructive criticism will be nice and helpful. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. :) **

Six Months Later

"You can't pack it all I don't have enough room for all that stuff." Crosby removed the extra shirts I had placed in his suitcase. "Just pack the necessary items, stuff I'll actually need where it's cold, and make sure that you get all the Under Armor."

"You should just let me pack and stop hovering." I slapped at his hands and tried to take the shirts from him. "I know what I'm doing."

"I don't doubt that you know what you're doing but you're a woman. Women always pack more than is actually needed." He continued to hold his clothes out of my reach. "Why don't you just sit down and relax and I'll finish my own packing."

I scoffed at him and flopped down on his large bed. "I try to do something nice and this is the thanks I get. I feel so love and appreciated."

He looked over at me, "Oh stop, there will be no pouting."

"I'm not pouting," I pulled my knees up to my chest and watched as Crosby carried on with the packing.

He shook his head and laughed. "If you're not pouting, then what do you call it?"

I stuck my tongue out at him, "I don't know." I glanced over my shoulder at my purse. I took a deep breath, internally debating on whether or not to tell Crosby about the contents it held.

He looked over at me, studying me closely. "What's up?"

Startled, I turned my attention back to him, "What? Oh, nothing, I was just debating."

"Um, okay, debating about what?" He reached over me and snatched my purse. "What does this hold? And is it something I'm going to like?"

I didn't even bother trying to get it back from him, I just sighed. "I was putting away the laundry the other day and as I was putting away my dad's, um, unmentionables, I found a stack of letters." I stopped talking and Crosby sat down next to me. "During Opi season, Sig told me that my brother had sent letters, one a week for four years and that he'd kept them all. I had forgotten that he'd told me that until I found them. I read a few, but I couldn't bring myself to plow through them all." I took my purse back from Crosby and pulled out an envelope. "This one had a post mark of two months ago and it was on the top of the stack. I figure it was the last one he sent." I handed the letter to Crosby and watched as he slowly opened it.

"Are you sure you want me to read this? Your brother isn't exactly a subject that you're family talks about." Crosby glanced over at me, waiting for confirmation.

I nodded my head, "I want you to read it and I want you to tell me what you think."

He unfolded the letter and scanned it quickly, "Do you want me to read it out loud?" I nodded and he begin reading,

_**Dad and Lexi,**_

_**I don't even know where to begin or what to say. I've been writing you letters for almost five years now and I've received nothing in return, so I'm still assuming that you are both very pissed off and upset with me. I just want you both to know that this will be my last letter but I'm hoping that it won't be the last time I ever have contact with you. Dad, I just want you to know that I didn't abandon the family, I just needed to do this for me and I need you to understand that. I know that you think I bailed and I know that you think I marred the family name by doing so. However, like I told you before, everyone deals with pain and death in their own way and my joining the Navy and doing something productive was my way of dealing. I want to know how Lexi is doing. How did her rehab go and how is she doing physically and emotionally? Dad, please, I'm asking for you to contact me at least once. I'm not asking for forgiveness, I'm just asking to let me talk to my family again. If you can tell Lexi that I've been writing, that would be great, I know that she would want to talk to me, to find out how I'm doing. Just so you know, like I've said in past letters, (which you probably haven't even bothered to read,) I'm doing really well and I'm just finishing up my four years. I'm not going to be a lifer and I am planning on moving back to Seattle once I'm discharged. Since none of my letters were returned, I'm assuming that you still live in the same house. I'm not sure how you'll handle seeing me again but I'm hoping that you'll give me the chance to talk to you, to explain. I'm a man now dad and I want to take responsibility for my actions. I want to make it up to all of you. I want to take care of you and Lexi. Basically dad, I'm asking for you to not disown me and to someday (hopefully someday soon) give me an honest chance to talk to you, one where you will actually listen to me. All I'm asking for is a second chance, the same as you would do for anyone else, however, I have a feeling that my pleading is futile but I'm determined to win you, Lexi, and the rest of the family over.**_

_**Your son,**_

_**Brandon**_

Crosby folded the letter back up and placed it carefully in its envelope. "I'm not sure what you want me to say Lex, this is some deep family stuff." He couldn't take his eyes off of the paper in his hands. "He sounds like he really wants to come back and it sounds like he's really sorry."

I took the letter from him, "I was so mad at Brandon for the longest time. He was the always the rational one, the one that never jumped to quick decisions or did anything that would disappoint the family. When he said he was leaving, it literally was the final straw for my dad. He flipped out on Brandon and basically kicked him out. Told him that if he was old enough to join the Navy and leave the family in a time of crisis, then he was old enough to be on his own. I don't really remember much about the day he left and dad refused to talk about it but I do remember Brandon coming into my hospital room and telling me goodbye." I stopped talking as I turned the paper over and over in my hands. "I don't even know what to feel."

Crosby leaned over and kissed my temple, "I think I have to agree with your dad on this one. Don't think about it, don't worry about it and don't analyze every single detail. If he happens to appear back in your life again, then that will be your time to start thinking about it. You don't know where he is Lexi, this letter was dated two months ago and he says in the letter that he's finished with his time in the Navy. If he really wants to contact any of you again, I'm guessing he will do just that. What time are we meeting up with Jake and Josh?" Crosby changed the subject.

I smiled and looked over at the clock near the bed, "In about an hour. I'm so excited to meet Josh's new girlfriend. He really seems to like this one too because I've never heard him talk about a girl so much before."

Crosby cocked his head, "Maybe that's because it would be stupid for him to talk about you to you."

"Ha, ha, cute, you know what I mean." I threw a pillow at his head but he was too quick.

He reached over and picked it up, holding it above him. "You better be careful, I'm not afraid to attack."

I curled up in a ball as he ascended on me. His fingers found my sides and I started to laugh uncontrollably. "This…is…so…not…fair."

"This is what happens when you start something you can't win." His laughter mixed with mine.


	2. Chapter 1

The dock of Dutch Harbor never changed and as I stood there and breathed in the salty sea air, I begin to regret my decision to not join my family on the Northwestern. The last time I had gone out with them had been hard and very emotional but I had discovered so much about myself and had the chance to make some important decisions in my life. It had been life altering but it had also been the best time of my life. When I looked back on every moment, I'd come to discover just how much that time had meant and how much it had help to shape who I was now. As I was standing there reminiscing, I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my shoulders, sheltering me from the cold. I grinned and leaned back into him, "Hey daddy."

"Hi kiddo," We were both quiet as we stared out at the sea. I felt him rest his chin on my shoulder, "You still staying back for this season?"

I nodded my head slowly, almost unsure on what my answer should be. "I think that it's going to be for the best if I stay back. You'll be able to focus better and Edgar will have to find someone else to pick on."

"We have Anderson back, so Edgar will be plenty entertained torturing Junior." I felt him chuckle to himself before letting me go. "How long are you going to stay in Dutch for?"

I looked over at him and studied his worn features. The wrinkles around his eyes were deep from stress and constant concern. The crease in his forehead had grown over his many years at sea and his lips and teeth were leathered and yellow from his steady chain smoking. "I'll be here until I can't see the boats anymore. Dad, do you ever think about stopping and turning it all over to Edgar and Norman?"

He turned his head in my direction, his blue eyes meeting mine, "It's crossed my mind but now that I know you're doing fine I don't see a reason for me to give it up just yet."

"Ouch," A sharp pain radiated through my arm. I whirled around to see a smug looking Edgar standing right behind me. "You little," I stopped and reached out to flick him in the arm.

"Nice to see you too," He placed an arm over my shoulder and grinned. "You know that you're going to miss spending months in a small enclosed space with me."

I pushed his arm off of me, "Oh in your stupid little dreams. Get off me you brat."

"Aren't we testy," He cocked his head.

"Don't you dare go there," I smiled as I held my hand up to his face. "There is no way I'm going to discuss my sex life with you."

"Can we not talk about this," My dad's voice came into the argument. Both Edgar and I turned to look at him, "What? I just don't want to discuss my daughter in that capacity, that's all."

I couldn't help it, I busted out laughing. "Trust me dad, I'll keep that stuff to myself."

The three of us stood there, side by side, and stared out at the ocean. It meant something different to each of us but it was something that we all truly loved. It was a part of us, it ran through our blood, in a sense it was a life source. It was that same life source that had flowed through the veins of the first Hansen's to start fishing. I leaned against my dad, "I'm going to miss you guys."

"Aww, how touching," Edgar's mocking tone rang through the stillness.

"You suck," I shot my fist in his direction, landing squarely and solidly on his shoulder.

He rubbed his shoulder, "Man, you do pack a punch. I think I am going to miss having you around all the time."

"Will you knock it off? I'm going to head on over to the Elbow room, when you two decide to play nice then you can join me." My dad turned to walk up the hill towards the bar.

"Wanna go get a drink and it will be on me?" I asked Edgar, placing an arm around his shoulder.

"If you're paying, I'm drinking." He laughed.

"Lexi," I heard my name and glanced down towards the end of the dock. I saw Josh running towards me. I smiled and held my arms open, as he picked me up off the ground. "I didn't know that you were going to be up here."

I kissed his cheek as he set me back down, "Crosby talked me into it. He said that I would be happier saying goodbye from Dutch then saying goodbye from Seattle."

"Where is Crosby?" Josh looked around.

"Keith needed all of his crew for something, he'll meet us at the Elbow in a little while." Jake and a young woman stepped up next to Josh. "Jakey, how are you?" I leaned over and wrapped my arms around him. As I pulled away I glanced at the woman who was now standing next to Josh, "Hey Devyn. How do you like Dutch?"

She shivered and stepped closer to Josh, "Its cold. Josh said it would be but I guess I didn't expect it to be this cold."

I smiled at her, "You get used to it and you learn to wear lots of layers." I watched as Josh put his arm around her slim shoulders. Her long, dark hair was pulled up behind her head and seemed to shiver along with her as the wind blew faintly. Her brown eyes scanned the faces that surrounded her and you could visibly see her hide within herself. I had met Devyn a couple of weeks ago and was surprised at how quiet and reserved she was. Josh had said that they'd met at a party but after spending some time with the girl, I was beginning to doubt that she'd ever go to a party. She was so different from Josh and very different from me and I shook my head with bewilderment at what Josh even saw in her. She was nice and polite but chose rather to stand in the shadows then even try to jump into the conversations. Whatever floated his boat, she was very pretty and I'm guessing that's what attracted him to her in the first place. I was happy that he'd found someone he liked as much as he seemed to like Devyn, but I had my reservations about her and I didn't want him to get hurt. Jake noticed that I was staring and proceeded to elbow me in the side, "Ow."

He laughed, "Sorry, you were off in your own world, thought I'd bring you back to this one."

"Can you please do it in a less painful way next time?" I rubbed my side, "Damn, you have sharp little elbows. Alright boys and girl, what do you say we go and get us something to drink?"

Jake threw an arm around me, "You buying?"

I snorted, "In your dreams. I already have to buy for Edgar." I hung my head in shame.

Jake laughed, "Well, what's one more person?"

I pushed Jake, causing him to stumble. "You're full share, you can buy for me."

Jake wrinkled his nose and forehead and glared at me, "You had to bring money into it, didn't you?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "It's always about money, always." We were laughing when we reached the Elbow room and as I opened the door we were greeted by a blast of warm air and a mass of drunken noise. I turned and smiled at Jake, "First round's on you." I skipped into the bar, seeing Crosby off in the corner with the rest of the Wizard Crew. I made my way towards his table and grinned when he looked up and spotted me. "What's up fellas," I greeted the men that surrounded the table as I sat down on Crosby's lap. The beer and liquor flowed freely throughout the night and the laughter and boisterous noise seemed to fill the small bar to capacity.

* * *

I kept my eye on Devyn as the night dragged on and started to feel a little bad for her. She sat next to Josh quietly sipping on her club soda and dutifully studied the people that sat at the table with her. I knew how hard it was to be able to sit with these men and feel like you fit in. I had grown up with it and I knew how to handle them and how to handle myself around them, I could only imagine what it would be like to be coming into this completely blind. I knew what Josh was like and as sweet and caring as he could be, he was also very stubborn, very loud, and very much a Harris. He didn't really care what others thought of him and he did things the way he wanted to do them, when he wanted to do them. Someone like Devyn, who was shy and quiet, had a lot to deal with dating someone like Josh. I shook my head and crawled off of Crosby's lap, "I'll be back." I kissed the top of his head and walked over to sit down next to Devyn. "How are you doing?"

She looked at me, wide-eyed, "I'm okay, I guess."

I leaned in closer to her so she could hear me better, "Believe me, it gets easier."

"What gets easier," She continued to stare at me.

"Them leaving, well I guess them leaving doesn't get easier but you do get used to it and you learn your routine rather quickly."

Her hands fidgeted with the glass on the table, her eyes gazing at the far wall, "I'm not sure what to think right now. When I started dating him and he told me he fished for crab in Alaska, I didn't realize that it would be for months and I didn't realize that it was dangerous."

I swiveled in my chair so that I could face her, "It is dangerous and it is scary but they know what they're doing and they are very good at their job. You just can't think about it, you just have to understand that they do what they do because they love it and they're going to do it with or without you in their life. I know that's not exactly the most reassuring thing to hear but you'll figure out a way to make it livable for you. The hardest part isn't the fact that they're doing something dangerous but the fact that you don't get to see them for weeks and sometimes you don't even get to talk to them for days. It's hard living like that but like I said, you learn to find a way to make it work for you. Look, some of the crew's wives and girlfriends get together on a weekly basis, it's sort of a support group but it's helpful when things start to get a little tough and it's really helpful when you're new to all of this."

She met my gaze and I could see the emotion in her eyes, "I guess I'm just a little scared. What if I can't handle him being gone for that long, what he if won't want to be with me when he gets home?"

I took her hand in mine, "Believe me, those are all very valid thoughts and questions but, trust me, he wouldn't have brought you up here if he didn't want to be with you."

"Are you sure," She picked up her glass, taking a small sip.

"I know Josh better then Josh knows Josh, so yes, I'm sure. He's pretty careful about who he lets into this aspect of his life." I glanced over at Josh as he slapped his brother in the face, "Question is, are you sure you want to be with him?" I laughed as she smiled and I squeezed her hand for reassurance. "You'll be fine Devyn and if you need me, I'll be around."

She looked over at Josh, "Thank you."

I stood up and as I walked behind Josh I smacked him in the back of the head. He shot a look at me and I just shrugged my shoulders and leaned down near his ear, "Be good to that one, she's very sweet but she isn't the type of girl that is okay with being ignored. She's new and she feels out of place, so pay attention to her, or I'll have to beat the shit out of you."

His eyes went wide and he held up his hands in surrender, "I promise, I'll behave."

I narrowed my eyes at him, "You better. Remember, I know where you live and what you do." He laughed as I made my way back over to Crosby. I picked up his unfinished drink and tipped back the rest of its contents.

Crosby raised an eyebrow, "Thirsty?"

I smacked my lips, "Yummy, can I have another please?" Shots of whiskey were soon brought to the table and the guys started having a drinking contest. I didn't want to be left out so I figured I'd join in, however, I didn't make it past three before the room was spinning wickedly. I lay back in my chair, feet up on the table, giggling uncontrollably as the men tipped back shot after shot.

* * *

I stumbled out of the bar, being held up by Crosby. I wasn't sure how he was standing, considering he had drunk quite a bit more than I had. I tripped over the uneven, gravelly road and Crosby was quick to catch me.

"Do you want me to carry you," He asked, holding onto my arm so that I wouldn't fall.

I held up my finger and shook it at him, "Nope, I be just fine." I slurred my words as I tripped again but this time I was holding onto him.

"That's it," He picked me up and held me in his arms. "I'm not going to let you fall and hurt yourself."

"But I walk myself, you let me down." I poked him in the nose and stared him down as best as I could.

"If I put you down, you'll end up walking right off the dock and stop poking at me." He blew at me since his hands were tied up holding me.

"Stop that! You breath smell really bad." I waved my hand in front of my face but even in my drunken state I couldn't help but laugh.

"You are horrible and SO very drunk." He set me back down and made sure that I was somewhat steady, while keeping a hold of my arm.

I stopped short and Crosby nearly knocked me over by running into the back of me. Feeling suddenly sober, I pointed in the direction of the Northwestern, "Who is that?" Standing next to the large white boat was the figure of a man.

Jake had stopped next to me and looked in the direction I was pointing. "There is no way!"

I looked at Jake, "Who is it?"

Josh had joined us and stared at the young man, "It can't be him, can it?"

"My god, will someone please tell me who it is." I stamped my foot at the two men.

"Lexi, look closely!" Josh took a hold of my shoulders, pulling me in front of him.

I stared at the figure, studying him as closely as I could with my foggy mind. Suddenly a picture of a face came to me and I gasped, "Oh…my… god!" I shrugged Josh's hands off of me and I carefully picked my way down the wooden dock towards the lone figure. As I approached him I realized he hadn't changed very much, he still looked like I remembered him, only now he was a bit taller and had grown into himself very well. I was quiet as I walked up behind him, afraid of how to approach him, afraid that he wouldn't remember me, afraid that he wouldn't want to see me. I reached out and carefully tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and his sky blue eyes met mine for the first time in five years. "Brandon, what are you doing here?"

**Alright, so there you have the first two parts. I hope that it comes across okay but let me know what you all think. Again, any ideas and/or thoughts are more than welcome and I do hope you all enjoy. **


	3. Chapter 2

**This story is going to take me a bit longer to write. It's a lot of dialogue and a lot of getting the characters personalities just right, so that everything fits together perfectly. Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed. Your support has been fantastic and I'm glad you've enjoyed it up to this point. As always, I'm open for any suggestions, ideas, and criticisms that you may have. Thank you again and I hope you continue to enjoy. **

I stared at my brother, waiting for a reason, an explanation as to what he was doing in Dutch Harbor. Why hadn't he just sought us out before we left, when we were still in Seattle? What reasons could he possibly have for being here, days before the fleet left for king season? When he just stood there, saying nothing, I had to open my mouth again. "Brandon, why are you here?"

"You look good Lexi. Looking at you, you'd never be able to tell." He looked me up and down and I started to get a little nervous under his scrutiny.

"I spent 13 months in and out of a rehabilitation hospital so that no one would be able to tell. Dad's not going to be happy to see you." I crossed my arms across my chest, trying to shield my body from his intense stare.

"Sig's just going to have to deal with it. I'm here and he can't make me leave." He turned his attention back towards the family boat, "She still looks the same."

Crosby came and stood next to me, his protective nature kicking in. I placed a hand on his arm, letting him know that everything was okay, at least for now. "You still haven't answered my question, why are you here? Why now?" I was starting to get defensive. Brandon couldn't just walk back into our lives that easily, not without doing some major explaining.

"I figured that the old man was still fishing, so I thought that I'd come up here and prove myself to him. Let him know that I'm ready to be a part of this family, that I want to be able to take care of you and him." He pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his shirt pocket, knocking one out into his awaiting fingers.

I shook my head, feeling the anger begin to rise, "You can't just be a part of this family because you feel like you're ready. What kind of bullshit is that? You bailed on us Brandon, you left me lying in a hospital bed and you left dad, alone, to pick up the pieces."

The cigarette lay lazily between his lips and his hands stopped halfway up, the flame of the lighter dancing in the breeze. "I didn't bail Lexi. I had to do my own thing, I couldn't just stay put and let their deaths eat at me they way they were eating at you and dad." The flame went out.

"So you figured running was the right answer? I don't get that Brandon, I don't get that at all." My hands were clenched and I was seconds away from knocking that stupid thing out of his mouth. "I needed you and you left me." He reached out to touch my cheek but I pulled back out of his reach.

Crosby took a step forward, placing his body between mine and my brother's, "Don't touch her."

Crosby was taller and larger than Brandon and his intimidating size kept my brother from arguing with him. He held up his hands in surrender, "Sorry."

I gently pushed Crosby out of the way, "I just don't feel comfortable with you touching me, you've been away for far too long and I don't know you anymore."

Brandon looked at me, his eyes scanning my face. "I'm not that different Lexi, I haven't changed that much. I just grew up and I learned to deal with loss in a more effective manner."

I shook my head and quietly said, "The Brandon I knew never would have left in the first place."

"Lexi, their death hurt me just as much as it hurt you, I just couldn't sit there and wait for the world to come back to me. I saw how dad crumpled under the pain and I saw how you fought every day just to feel and I couldn't do it, I couldn't just sit there and watch the rest of my family suffer. I had to feel like I was doing something, like I was helping, like I was being productive with my life. It wasn't the smartest thing to do and I hurt you and I hurt dad and I hurt Edgar but to me, leaving was still the right choice and I wouldn't have done anything differently." Brandon's eyes never left mine and I could see the emotions building up in them.

"It doesn't change what you did though, no matter what you thought, what matters is how the people you left behind feel. Dad couldn't even mention your name without getting angry and Edgar, he won't even talk about you." I knew that Brandon was trying to make me understand but I couldn't wrap my mind around his reasons, maybe I didn't want to. Maybe I wanted him to fight for forgiveness, maybe I wanted him to hurt the way he had hurt me. Josh and Jake came to stand next to me, their added support helping me keep the anger at bay. I was about to open my mouth to say something else, when a loud and very angry sounding voice cut through the bitter Alaskan air.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" My dad was standing behind Josh, anger burning in his eyes, his face turning red.

Brandon looked up at our father and quickly looked back down. Over four years in the Navy and still Sig scared him. "Um," He stammered. "I realize I'm not the person you want to see and you'll probably tell me no, but I came to ask you for a job on your boat, our boat."

"It is not OUR boat Brandon, it is my boat and no, you cannot have a job." My dad walked closer to Brandon, standing next to me and reaching down to take my hand. "Lexi, we're going. Brandon I suggest you get on a plane and leave Dutch Harbor. I really don't care to see you again."

I held my ground as my dad tugged on my hand, "Dad I think maybe we should give him a chance to explain. It won't kill us to hear his side of the story."

My dad glared at me, "I don't care what he has to say, I don't care what his side of the story is. There is no reason why a man should take off and leave his family, especially when things are bad. You needed your brother, I needed my son and all we got was a traitor."

He pulled again on my hand and this time I relented and followed him, Crosby staying close to me as we climbed up onto the Northwestern. Once on the deck, I turned to look back down at Brandon. He was standing next to Jake and Josh and he looked, well he looked lost and he looked confused and he looked, he looked hurt. He looked like my dad looked when he walked out on us and a part of me felt happy that he was suffering but another part of me ached, I wanted my brother back and I didn't want to be angry with him anymore.

Brandon watched as we retreated into the body of the boat before turning to Josh, "So who's the guy that wanted to rip my face off?"

Josh didn't move, his eyes not leaving the water, "That would be your sister's boyfriend, Crosby. He's a deckhand over on the Wizard."

"So what happened with you and Lexi?" Brandon continued to watch Josh. "I figured you two would be together for, oh I don't know, ever."

Josh shook his head, "It's a long story, but the gist of it is that she chose him over me. They've been dating for about eight months now, I think."

"And you're just okay with all of that," Brandon was surprised with his old friend.

Josh finally turned to look at the man standing next to him, "A lot has changed since you left Brandon. None of us are the same people that we were five years ago. I wasn't exactly happy that Lexi didn't want to be with me anymore but I chose to let it go and stay her friend. She needs me and I'm happy to be there for her, in whatever capacity that may be. Besides, we get along better now than we ever did when we were together. Look man, give them time. It's a very deep wound and you've managed to slash it back open. It's going to take time and it won't be a very pleasant journey. I'm gonna head back to the Marie, I'm sure that I'll see you later man." With that Josh left Brandon and his younger brother standing on the lonely dock.

Jake had been quiet since he'd first realized it was Brandon. When Brandon had left, it wasn't just his family that had lost a son and a brother, but it was also a friend losing a friend. Brandon had been Jake's best friend for years and when he'd gone off to join the Navy it had sucked for a long time. Jake hadn't known how to deal with it but he had slowly managed to move on and get over the loss. He never really expected to see Brandon again and having him just show up, here, on his turf, was a hard thing to comprehend. Jake wanted to be okay with everything but he wasn't sure that he could be. Normally, he just let things roll off his back and he was good at going with the flow but this, this was years of pent up hurt and anger, feelings he didn't even know he had, crashing to the surface. Jake wanted to say something and he was about to find the words, when the sound of crunching rock under feet pulsed through the air. Jake and Brandon turned around and saw Edgar and Norman walking towards them.

As the two older men approached the younger, the desire for Norman to reach out and embrace his young nephew was overwhelming. It was good to know that Brandon was okay but it was hard for the uncles to see him, just standing there like nothing had happened. Norman slowed but Edgar didn't even as so much look at his nephew, he just walked right on by, nodding at Jake, and climbed aboard the family boat.

Norman stopped and stood next to the two young men, "It's good to see you Brandon."

Brandon reached out and shook his uncle's hand, "I always figured you'd be the first one to forgive me."

Norman shook his head, "Don't be so quick to think that I've forgiven anything that you've done, but I'm not one to turn my back on family, even those who have done just that." Brandon opened his mouth to protest but Norman just held up his hand. "You will have plenty of time to talk your way back into this family, so go and get some rest and start fresh tomorrow. Your dad will need some time to process and, well, Edgar is just going to need more time."

* * *

Over the next few days, the men of the crab fleet worked hard and diligently to get their boats and equipment ready for the long and tortuous months on the Bering Sea and every day Brandon showed up on the docks like clockwork. My dad would tell him to 'go the fuck away,' but Brandon would stand his ground. I helped out by cleaning and organizing the galley for the mass amounts of food that would soon be stored in its depths. Once I had accomplished that task, I had gone up to the wheelhouse to aide my father with anything that he needed. Sitting in his chair, I glanced out the window and spotted Brandon standing in his usual place on the dock. I turned to my father who was rifling through old charts, "Dad, I think you should go talk to him."

Without looking up from the dusty papers, he said, "I told him that if he walked away from this family, he could never come back. I'm not giving him the satisfaction of relenting on that threat now. He may share your stubbornness but, let's not forget who you got that stubbornness from in the first place."

"But dad, it's Brandon. We can't stay mad at him forever, we have to forgive him eventually. Now seems like a pretty good time to be forgiving. You need an extra hand, you said so yourself, and Brandon seems more than willing." I stared at the back of my dad's head, preparing myself for when he turned around.

When he did turn to face me, his blue eyes were steely, "Lexi, I'm not discussing this. Brandon dug his own grave and he's going to have to live with it. I'm not changing my mind and that's final. Now stop talking about it and get back to work."

Just then Edgar came up the steps into the wheelhouse and I jumped on the chance to gang up on my father. "Edgar, tell dad that we should forgive Brandon and offer him a job for the king season."

Edgar looked over at me and shook his head. "If I'm not mistaken, the only Brandon I knew gave up being a part of this family a long time ago. We don't allow non-family members aboard this boat."

I gapped at Edgar in horror. How could those words be coming out of his mouth? Edgar was the even-keeled one, the one who never jumped to conclusions, the one who kept a level head while my dad went off the deep end. "Edgar, that's my brother, your nephew. I can't believe that you could be so harsh towards him. You've always been the first one to forgive and forget."

"Lexi, I know how much you want to open your arms and let him back into our lives but we have to remember that if he did it once, he's more than likely to do it again. Do you want someone in your life that has a history of bailing when things get hard, when things become almost too much to handle? Don't forget what you went through, what Sig went through when Brandon walked out that door and didn't come back." Edgar leaned up against the wall near my dad and kept his eyes focused on my face. "I know it hurts Lexi, but we need to stand our ground on this one."

I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't be in the same room with those two. I wasn't even sure why I was taking Brandon's side on this and why I wasn't standing next to the two men who had been standing next to me my whole life. I just knew that, for some reason, Brandon deserved a second chance and that we needed to give it to him soon. I climbed over the rail of the Northwestern and walked quickly down the dock towards the Wizard. I had a plan, at least I hoped I did but it required a little reinforcement. When I reached the Wizard, I stood on the docks and shouted up at the men that scurried aboard.

Travis leaned over the rail and looked down at me, "I'm assuming that you'd like me to go and get Crosby?"

"Could you please, I really need to talk to him." I smiled up at Travis and batted my eyes at him, "I'd be really grateful."

He laughed and shook his head, turning around and shouting for my boyfriend. He looked back down at me, "You are a handful, aren't you?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "I can't deny that."

Crosby appeared next to Travis and glanced down at me, "Hey. What's up?"

I smiled at him, my heart beating just a bit faster. "It's about Brandon and my dad and Edgar and I need your help."

"Okay, give me a few minutes and I'll come down." Crosby disappeared from my view and Travis waved goodbye and soon he was gone as well.

I paced back and forth along the dock, waiting for Crosby to appear. Ten minutes later he was by my side and we were racing down the dock towards the Cornelia Marie.

Once we reached the teal boat, Crosby placed a hand on my arm, slowing me down. "What's going on Lexi?"

I stopped and turned to look at him, "My dad is being so stubborn and I don't understand why. I just want him to sit down and talk to Brandon and I want them to work everything out. I want what's left of my family back together."

He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me into him, "You can't force him to talk to your brother. Your dad is famous for being hard-headed and I'm pretty sure that he's not going to suddenly change his ways because you want him to. Have you talked to Edgar about this?"

I nodded my head against Crosby's chest, "Yes and Edgar is being worse than dad. He won't even acknowledge that Brandon stands on the dock for hours. He just ignores him and quickly ends any conversation I try to start involving him."

"Hmm, that seems strange. I would have thought that Edgar would be the first one to welcome Brandon back into the family." Crosby rubbed my back as I pulled myself closer to him.

"Edgar is always the first one. He gives in before I do usually and he's always the one to talk to dad and to convince him that it's for the best. I can't fight against both of them, together they're impossible. However, I figure that if I get a group together and we gang up on dad, then maybe, we'll have a chance." I looked up at Crosby, trying to get a grasp on what he was thinking.

He took a few seconds to process what I had just said, "So I'm guessing that we're standing in front of the Marie because you're going to get Jake and Josh to help you as well. I'm not sure that this is such a good idea and I don't like going up against your dad but, I guess I'm in."

I leaned in and kissed him. After a few seconds, I pulled away slowly, my eyes stilled closed, and smiled. "Thank you. I really appreciate it."

"For some reason, I have a really hard time telling you no." He grinned at me as I tugged him towards the rail of the Harris' boat.

We climbed up and over the rail, making our way down into the galley. We found Josh and Jake quickly but it took us a few extra minutes to hunt down Phil. Once I had everyone sitting around the galley table, I began to pace back and forth in front of them. "Okay, so here's the plan, I hope. Sig is being Sig and he's refusing to listen to me about Brandon but I'm hoping that if we all get together and sit him down, that maybe he'll have to listen. It's not foolproof and we'll have to keep Edgar out of the picture but it might work, maybe." I turned to face the four men, all of them watching me. "Well, don't just stare at me, say something."

Phil cleared his throat, "Lexi, honey, I'm not sure that pushing your father into a corner is such a good idea. He'll just get defensive and then he'll be more stubborn. Your father has a soft spot when it comes to you, just keep talking to him, eventually he'll relent."

I took at seat next Phil, "That's just it he won't listen to me on this one. I've tried and have been trying since Brandon first showed up here. He'll let me say a couple things and then he'll quickly end the conversation and then act like nothing was said and that his son isn't standing out there. I hate this." I placed my forehead on the table and wrapped an arm around my head. I heard the men shift in their seats and I heard them mumble to each other.

"It's not a very good plan Lex, but, I guess that we're in." Josh's voice broke through and I sat up to look at him, at them.

"Really, you're going to help me out?" I eagerly searched each face.

"We'll help but don't be surprised or disappointed when it all backfires on us." Phil tapped me, letting me know that he wanted to stand. "Let us know when and where and we'll be there."

I moved out of the way and watched Phil stand and walk from the galley. I turned to the other three, "Am I making a big mistake?"

"I don't think that you're making a mistake but you might be pushing your dad a little harder than he wants to be pushed. Your dad thinks the world of you, I'm just afraid that you're going to let this thing with Brandon be a rift that might damage what you and your dad have." Crosby answered my question. "If this doesn't work, if your dad still refuses to allow Brandon into your lives, give it up. Your dad didn't leave you, he stayed by your side through everything, as did Edgar. Don't show loyalty to someone who took off and didn't seem to care."

I looked at both Jake and Josh and they seemed to echo Crosby's statement, "Okay, if this doesn't work, I won't bring it up anymore. I'll let it go and let my dad and Brandon work things out on their own."


	4. Chapter 3

**I know that this story is slow going but things will start to happen. There seems to be more build up involved with this story than with the last one. Many thanks to those of you that read and reviewed, I love that you are enjoying this so far, and I love the support that you all offer. To everyone who has read this story, thank you for taking the time to read it, I hope that I don't disappoint. I am leaving this weekend to go out of town so chapter 4 may or may not get written and/or posted but I will try to get it up before I leave. **

Jake stood on the deck of the Cornelia Marie and breathed in the salty sea air. The sun was just about to peak over the mountains to the east and the colors of the early morning danced across the sky. Jake took a sip from the cup of coffee that was warming his nearly numb fingers. The temperature was bitter and as he exhaled his breath condensed into small white plumes of swirling matter. Jake watched as the waves rippled beneath the hulking mass of metal and wished that they could leave the docks sooner rather than later. There was still a lot of work to do before they could set sail and he was already dreading the tedious work ahead. He finished his coffee and turned to go back into the warmth of the boat, when he spotted a dark figure out of the corner of his eye. Brandon was standing in the exact spot he had been occupying every day since his father had refused him a job on the Northwestern. Jake had played tug-of-war with himself, debating on whether or not to go talk to his old friend or just let him suffer though the wait himself. The good in him won out and instead of heading into the comfort of the galley, he climbed over the railing and walked down the dock toward what was once his best friend. He leaned up against the wall next to Brandon and handed him an unlit cigarette. "I admire the fact that you aren't giving up but don't you think that maybe trying to talk to your father would be a bit more productive than just standing here staring at his boat."

Brandon accepted the cigarette and pulled a lighter from his pocket. "Talking to my father is like talking to a brick wall. It is impossible to get him to listen to anything, especially when he has his mind set against it."

"You've got Lexi on your side though and if anyone can make your dad listen, it's her. I'm pretty sure that she's up to something too, so maybe there's still a chance." Jake took a deep breath, exhaling slowly.

Brandon just shook his head, "It doesn't seem to matter, you guys will all be leaving in a matter of days and I am no closer to getting on that boat than when I first arrived in Dutch. Lexi may be able to talk Sig into just about anything but I don't think she stands a chance, not when Edgar is standing on the opposite side of her. You know, I never thought that he would stay this mad at me but he's more pissed off than my own father is." Brandon stopped talking and tossed the cigarette to the ground. "Jake, man, I'm really sorry. I didn't think my decision through very well. I had to get away and I guess I didn't care who I left behind. I should have written, I should have stayed in contact with you but I thought I'd burnt a bridge that couldn't be repaired."

Jake cocked his head to the side and shrugged his shoulders, "Don't sweat it man. You did what you had to do and despite your family being furious with you, I can't fault you for what you did. I don't get it, to be honest, but I also won't hold it against you."

A small smile appeared on Brandon's face, "Thanks, that really does mean a lot. It's nice to know that someone isn't mad at me. Now I just need to figure out a way to make the rest of them to follow your lead."

Jake looked at the long white boat, "Your sister really does have an idea and I'm beginning to think that it just might work."

Brandon turned to look at Jake, "What if her plan backfires? What if I'm still standing on this dock watching the boats fade off into the distance?"

"Then you aren't in any worse shape than you are now. If it works, it works and you've got a job. If it doesn't, then you watch the boats sail off and you go back to Seattle with your sister and you try again when king season is over. There is always a plan B, but for now we'll try and get you a job. No guarantee that we can get your dad or your uncles to forgive or trust you but if we get you on that boat, you can work on those issues yourself." Jake rubbed his hands together, trying to bring back the feeling to his fingertips. "If you want it that badly Brandon, you should be willing to try just about anything. You screwed up, now it's time to fix it."

Brandon stayed quiet, contemplating what Jake had just said. He knew that he should do more than just stand on the dock, hoping that his father would take pity on him and come out and talk. He knew that it was time to be aggressive and fight for what he wanted. He had run in the past but this time he wouldn't run, this time he'd stand up and go for what he wanted. If he needed help along the way, he'd just have to ask for it and not be afraid to let down his defenses. He'd been scared in the past, he'd been unsure and instead of standing along his family and struggling through the pain and heartache together, he'd let them do it on their own. Now they were a force and he was on the outside looking in. He wanted, no he needed, to be on the inside with them and he was more determined than ever to make that happen. He just wished that he knew how and where to start.

* * *

"For the love of Pete, put me down!" Edgar had me strewn over his shoulder, punishment for my hiding his small photo album and stack of letters. "I promise I'll tell you where I put them, if you please put me down and gently."

"Maybe you should have thought about that before taking and hiding them. Now tell me where they are or I'm dumping you over the side." Edgar walked dangerously close to the railing.

I squirmed in his grasp, trying desperately to free myself. He, however, was too strong and no one standing on the deck would step up and help me. "Crosby, why is it that you never come to my rescue?" I craned my neck to try and get a good look at him, his face red from laughter.

"I…just can't…get in between…and Edgar…when he's like this." He was laughing so hard his sentence didn't come out coherently.

I shook my head and squealed as Edgar tried to dangle me over the chilly dark waters. "Please put me down, please, please." I was begging but was currently completely out of options.

"Tell me where you put them and I will put you down, on solid ground." Edgar spun in circles, making me dizzy and nauseous.

I was close to vomiting all over Edgar's back when I finally relented. "Fine, fine, I put your pictures and your letters up in the wheelhouse, in the cupboard with all of grandpa's old notebooks." Edgar finally let me go and I shakily tried to stand upright. Crosby finally came to my aide and took a hold of my arm, "Edgar, you suck!"

My uncle just laughed and kissed the top of my head, "It's all in a day's work. Someone has to show you whose boss around here or you'd be running the joint. I can't let you do that, I'm next in line for the throne, not you kid."

I tried to giggle but my stomach had other thoughts. I raced for the edge, leaning over as far as I could and allowed the contents of my stomach to resurface. I wiped my mouth, feeling better, and turned back towards my tormenter. "See what you do to me, I can't even keep my lunch down when you're around."

"I guess we're just going to have to work on making that stomach of yours a bit stronger. Everyone else in this family can bite the head off of a herring but not you, you think about biting some dead fish and you get all squeamish. We can't have that on a crab boat, it's unacceptable." Edgar put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to him.

"I'm a girl stupid; of course I'm going to be squeamish about things like dead fish and biting them. Most people would feel the same way I do, but I get the deranged uncle who will put just about anything in his mouth. You're crazy, has anyone ever told you that?" I tried to wiggle out of his grasp once again, but he held onto my shoulders tightly.

"I'm told I'm crazy every single day, mainly by you and it hasn't seemed to faze me yet." His smile got wider.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see his free hand moving behind his back. Something was going on and I knew that I was going to be at the end of it. I tried again to wiggle free but instead of escaping, a very large and very cold water balloon came crashing down on top of my head. I gasped as the ice cold water hit the top me and ran down my face and arms. My eyes narrowed at Edgar and I wanted nothing more than to somehow pay him back. The deck hose caught my eye and as Edgar was busy laughing with the other boys, I made a run for it.

With hose in hand, I aimed the nozzle directly at Crosby's chest. I quickly flipped the water and pulled the lever, releasing the immense pressure. The stream hit Crosby squarely, spraying water all over him and Edgar, who just happened to be standing next to him. Water drenched their clothing and flatted Crosby's curls. The smile and the laughter died as the water did and Crosby and Edgar wiped water from their faces. Before either of them had a chance to react, I dropped the hose and dashed towards the door that lead to the gear room. I would make a run for the wheelhouse, knowing that my father would keep them out, if only because they were wet but I would be safe.

I didn't make it though, as both Edgar and Crosby were fast on their feet and managed to grab me as I was opening the door. I screamed, feeling the wetness soaking through my own clothes. I wiggled as Crosby held me close to his body, "Okay, okay, I give. Please put me down, you're freezing."

Crosby laughed, "You mess with fire, or in this case water, you're bound to get burned, or wet."

"Ha, I think you need to come up with a different analogy, because that one so obviously did not work, either that or it was just you, and you screwed it up." Fighting against him was futile, he was bigger and stronger and I just seemed to disappear in his arms.

"Do you think that now is a good time to be mocking me?" Crosby tightened his grip as Edgar stepped into view.

He held a water balloon above his head, "This is going to hurt you far more than it will hurt me."

I closed my eyes, bracing myself for the impact. The shock of the cold water forced my eyes to open and I glared at my uncle, a grin spreading across his face. "It isn't fair when it's both of you against me. I can't fight that."

I watched as laughter erupted from him, "Then maybe you shouldn't play with the big boys. If you can't take it, then you should get off the field."

"You two are stupid," I wiggled some more, Crosby still maintaining his vice-like grip on my body. "Okay He-Man, you can put me down now. I think you've both gotten your point across. You can beat up on the poor, little, helpless girl, I hope you're both proud."

Edgar shook his head, spraying me with tiny droplets of water. "Oh, I'm ecstatic and couldn't be more proud of myself or your choice in men. I've got to say, I like this one."

Crosby's hold on me loosened and I slide out of his arms, "That's good, because you two can have each other." I tossed my hair over my shoulder and strutted into the gear room, stopping before I disappeared to stick my tongue out at both of them.

I stopped by the bathroom to grab a towel before heading up to visit with my father. As I ascended the stairs, I heard him cuss. "What's up dad? What are you mad at now?" I rubbed the towel through my hair, trying to dissipate the chill that was starting to race up and down my spine.

"For one, it would be nice to have a crew that actually worked, instead of tormenting my daughter and I'm just frustrated with these charts. I have no idea where to even look for the crab this year and I'm starting to see double." He was bent over ancient charts, the lettering and writing on them having faded to nonexistence.

I picked up the glasses from the counter near me and handed them to him. "It might help if you wear these, at least it would help with the whole double vision thing."

"Thanks," He took them from my grasp, setting them upon his nose. "It would probably also help the headache that has been coming on for some time now. You didn't happen to make any coffee did you?"

I smiled, "You do realize that I'm not going with you this season, so any coffee making and getting is going to be on your shoulders." I paused as my dad gave me a pleading look, "Yes, I did make some. Would you like me to go and get you a cup?"

He nodded his head, "Yes please, that would be wonderful. Could you also grab me some Tylenol?"

I shook my head at him, "On one condition, you have to sit down and talk to me about Brandon and you have to take me seriously."

"I can get my own coffee and pain killer than," My dad moved to stand up.

"Dad, wait. It won't kill you or hurt you in any way shape or form to talk to me about him. It's been almost a week and everyday he stands out there. It's pathetic and it has to stop. You have to get over being mad at him. You don't have to give him a job, you can send him back to Seattle with me but you can't leave to go fishing without talking to your only son." I blocked the stairs, staring my dad down.

He crossed his arms across his chest, "Lexi I don't have the patience or the desire to have this conversation with you. We've discussed Brandon and I think it's time for you to let it go. He has to live with his decisions and I'm not going to make it easier for him."

"What if I had chosen to leave, what if it was Brandon lying in that hospital bed all battered and bruised and I had been the one to walk out. Would you shut me out completely? Would you be this unwilling to let me back in," I didn't want to let the emotions I was feeling show, but I knew that I couldn't hold it at bay for long.

"Lexi that is a moot point, it wasn't you. I would have understood had you not been able to deal with everything. Brandon is different. Brandon should have made a better choice. He knew better and he still left." My dad leaned against the counter behind him, watching me closely.

"I don't get how he's different. I don't understand why you would make an exception for me but hold him to such higher standards. I hate that he left. I hate that he wasn't there for me, for you. I hate that he thought he was doing the right thing, but it doesn't matter what I think anymore. What matters is that he's trying to make it right, he's trying to fix what he broke and the least we can do is give him that chance. Don't make me beg and don't make call for reinforcements." I knew that I was sinking in this argument but I had to keep trying. For Brandon's sake. For the sake of this family. I could no longer hold back the tears and they slowly started to creep down my cheeks.

My dad pushed himself away from the counter and wrapped his arms around me. "Lexi, I know how badly you want everything to be the way it was before but the truth is, it won't ever be the same. It can't be. I will forgive Brandon, someday but that day isn't here yet. I wouldn't feel comfortable having him on my boat."

I wiped my eyes on his shirt, "You could at least talk to him. Talking won't hurt you. Talking can only start the mending process."

"Or it can shattered any hope," My dad said quietly. "We'll see. We've still got a few days left before we leave, so maybe."

I looked up at my father and smiled, "Really? You really might talk to him."

"I said we'll see. Don't go and get your hopes up. We've got a lot to do before we leave and there may not be time." He let go of me, running his thumb under my eye, erasing any signs of my tears.

* * *

It was the day before we were leaving Dutch Harbor and my dad had managed to stall any efforts I put forth when it came to him talking to Brandon. I knew that I had no other choice, I had to get the group together and we had to corner my father. It was a long shot and it was something that could very well piss my father off, but I was willing to give it a try.

I had managed to get the Harris' and Crosby together and we slowly and cautiously made out way towards the Northwestern and my dad. "Anderson and Mavar took Edgar up to the Elbow so that he'll be out of the way, so all we'll have is Sig to contend with."

Phil took a long drag on the cigarette in his mouth, letting the smoke escape slowly. "I'm still not so sure about this. I really would not like to be on the bad side of Sig's temper."

"If this all goes bad, I'll make sure that it all falls on my head. He won't stay mad at me and I don't want him upset with any of you. It was my idea, so I will be responsible for anything that goes wrong." I reached down and took Crosby's hand in mine. I loved the feeling of my small hand in his and I needed his strong reassurance. We all climbed onto the deck of my family's boat and I opened the door to the gear room so that everyone could file inside. My heart was pounding and I had a horrible feeling that this was all going to turn sour very fast. One at a time we climbed the steep steps to the wheelhouse, my head appearing first.

A startled Sig watched as each one of us become visible to him. He removed his glasses and leaned back in his chair, "What, may I ask, is going on here?"

"Dad, we need to talk." I crossed my arms, ready for the fight that about to ensue.


	5. Chapter 4

**I am so sorry that this is such a short chapter, but with me leaving for the weekend I figured I could either post a shorter chapter or make you all wait for another week. This chapter actually feels right, ending it where I did and it's a very nice lead in for what is to come. I hope you all enjoy and thanks to all of you that read and reviewed and to the ones that have been loyal to Lexi since she first appeared. **

I knew that I had to tread carefully. I was on his turf, in his wheelhouse, and I didn't want to make him too angry. "We need to talk about Brandon."

My dad's eyes didn't leave my face, "I'm assuming that this is some sort of intervention. Was this your idea or your brother's?"

I pointed at myself, "This was all me. These guys are here because of me. I just thought that if I had backup, you'd actually listen to me and not change the subject or tell me that you won't talk about it."

Sig rubbed his hands across his face, "Lexi, this really is something I don't want to talk about but since you went through all the trouble of dragging them here, fine, we'll talk."

I forced the excitement I felt down, I had won a teeny tiny battle but there was still a major war to fight. "I realize that Brandon is not your favorite person. I get that you don't trust him, I don't even really trust that fact that he won't bail again. However, you've always told me that family is the most important thing, that it even comes above fishing. You've also said time and again how hard it is just being me and you. Brandon's not perfect, but he's family. Shouldn't that mean more than anything else?"

My dad sighed, he sounded so tired. "Family is important Lexi, it always has been. That's what makes this so hard. Brandon didn't care about family, he cared only about himself and how he had to deal with his own pain and his own suffering. We were all hurt. We are all fighting. It would have been easier to have us all be as one, instead of the few that were remaining."

I took a couple tentative steps closer to my dad, "He hurt me too. If it hadn't been for Josh being there for me, I'm not sure I ever would have made it through everything. Brandon should have been there. Brandon should have been in Josh's place. Josh should not have had to deal with everything. He should not have had to carry the entire weight of our family on his shoulders. It wasn't his responsibility but he stepped up and did it. No questions asked. No complaining. He just did what he knew he had to do, what Brandon couldn't do. It's time we hold Brandon accountable for his actions. We need to make Brandon prove himself to us. Prove that he is worthy of carrying on the Hansen name. How can he do that unless we give him the chance? We have to at least let him try."

Phil cleared his throat, "I can't begin to understand what position you're in but I know what it's like to have my sons on the boat with me. I know how you feel about Lexi and how you used to feel about Brandon. I'm pretty certain that Brandon did what he felt like he had to do and in the process he was hoping that you'd be proud of him. Sometimes, as parents, we have to put aside our hurt feelings and our anger to do what's best for our children. Honestly, I think that it would do Brandon some good to experience what life is like on a crab boat. Hard work is good for the soul and it's good in building character. Look at Jake and Josh and what being on the boat has done for them. They've matured, some more than others, but have managed to become quite the trustworthy and reliable men they should be."

Sig was quiet. He sat in his chair and stared out the window. No one else in the small cabin said anything. The sound of feet shuffling was deafening but the silence was worse. I was beginning to get nervous. I was certain that he would look at me and tell me he had no interest in sitting down and talking to Brandon, that all of my persistence and hard work had been for nothing.

Sig finally turned and looked at the faces staring back at him. "I don't like this. I have my reasons for not wanting him on this boat. I have my reasons for not trusting him and I have my reasons for feeling betrayed by my own son. However, seeing as how important it is to Lexi that I sit down and talk with him," Sig stopped and took a deep breath. "I will do just that. I will talk to Brandon." He held up a hand to stop me from being too eager. "It is just talking. It does not guarantee anything."

I knew that this was as good as it was going to get at the moment, "That's just fine dad. Talking is what I wanted for you to do and so I will leave it at that."

"I don't appreciate, young lady, being cornered like you intended. I should be furious with you and I should be saying no to your little scheme. As much as I love you, I'm going to tell you this now, don't you ever do something like this to me again." His fierce blue eyes met mine and the guilt flooded over me.

"I'm really sorry. I just didn't think you would talk to me. You just brushed it aside and acted like it didn't matter. It matters. It matters to all of us." I didn't want him to be angry with me.

"I'm not mad, so stop thinking that I am. However, I would like everyone out of my wheelhouse. I want some peace and I would like some time to consider what it is I'm going to say to my son." My dad waved a hand, letting everyone know that he wanted us gone. "Jake, could you stick around for a minute."

I was shocked to hear my dad say Jake's name and I wanted to hover near the stairs, wanting to hear what was going to be said. Crosby, however, had a firm grip on my hand and proceeded in forcing me to follow him, Phil and Josh.

Jake tried to hide the nervousness that he was feeling but being alone in the wheelhouse with Sig Hansen would make even the strongest man waver. Sig was quiet and Jake wondered why he had been chosen to stay behind. "Um, sir, is there something you wanted?" Jakes voice quivered a little.

"As someone who was affected by my son's leaving, I wanted to know what your honest opinion is." Sig swiveled in his chair so that he was facing the younger man. "Lexi is a bit one-sided in her thinking and she doesn't always like to stop and see the big picture or how it will affect those around her. Do you think that giving Brandon another chance is a good thing? Is it a good idea?"

Jake never, in a million years, would have thought that Sig would be asking his opinion on anything. He wanted to be honest, "I think my dad's right in saying that crabbing could do him some good but I'm not sure that he can be completely trusted." There was more he wanted to say but he couldn't bring himself to find the right words.

Sig nodded his head, "You're probably right on the trusting front and you're dad is right on the crabbing front but how do you really feel. If he was given a job on your boat, how would you react?"

Jake quietly contemplated Sig's questions. He didn't fully understand why Brandon had chosen to do what he did but that didn't necessarily make him in the wrong, did it? He had been in the Navy for almost five years and that couldn't go unnoticed, could it? How did he truly feel? How would he honestly react if Brandon was a greenhorn on the Marie? "Truthfully, despite everything that Brandon has done, or didn't do, I think he'd make a really good greenhorn. He has a lot to prove and that can only work for him. Look how many chances you've given Matt and he's not even blood related." Jake took a deep breath. Did he absolutely, 100%, believe the words that were coming out of his mouth? "I think that maybe Lexi is the one that is seeing this from all sides. I think that maybe, it's you and me that are seeing this entire situation from just one side, ours."

Sig looked at the young man, impressed with what he was hearing. "If crab fishing can do for Brandon what it has obviously done for you, I think that it is worth the chances and the risks that we'd be taking. It's been a long five years and I have very much missed my son. However, I'm just concerned that, maybe, relationships have been damaged beyond complete repair."

Jake nodded but didn't say anything. He wasn't sure that he'd be able to say the right thing but he wasn't sure that he needed words at all. Sig knew what it was that he wanted to do and Jake just hoped that he'd given him the answers that he was looking for. Jake glanced over at Sig. The older man was slipping away peacefully into his own thoughts and his own inner struggles and Jake turned to sneak down the stairs and out of the wheelhouse.

He hadn't heard Edgar but as Jake turned to leave, he felt Edgar's body slam into his. Edgar reached out to steady the younger fisherman. "Whoa! You all right?"

Jake just stared. The sound of Edgar's voice was one of concern but the look in his eyes was one of anger and pure rage. "I'm fine. I'll see you two later." He hastily left the wheelhouse, afraid to get in between the two Hansen siblings.

Edgar watched Jake disappear before turning to look at his older brother. "So I have this sinking feeling that I wasn't supposed to be around to witness that little conversation? So now you've decided that Brandon's okay and that you're willing to risk everything on a kid who you aren't even sure is going to stick around long enough to remember what it's like to be a part of this family." Edgar was furious. He couldn't believe that Sig would even consider making this kind of decision, something that involved so many, without talking to him first. "I know he's your son Sig, but you were the one that was so bent on making sure that Brandon would never get a second chance. What about all those letters that you didn't read, keeping it all from Lexi? I don't get it, what changed? Why now?"

Sig didn't look at his brother, couldn't look at his brother. Edgar was right and it was hard to have it thrown in his face. "Brandon may not deserve a second chance but maybe we need to give him one anyway."

"Why? So he can bail on us again? So he can take off to god knows where, for god knows how long? That kid is trouble and he's a liability and he's not something that I'm willing to take a risk on. This is my boat too Sig and I have a say in who we hire." Edgar was breathing hard, trying desperately to keep his anger from boiling over.

Sig glanced over at Edgar, his own blue eyes starting to see red. "I know what you want Edgar and I do respect that. You are part owner of this boat but you aren't captain. I'm the captain and in the end it is my ultimate decision who we hire. I'm not saying that hiring Brandon is a smart thing to do and I'm not saying that we aren't going to get burnt but he is family. The Harris kid had a point, how many chances have we given Matt? More times than I can count and we've been burned on more than one occasion and I always end up hiring him back. Why? I hire him back because he's your friend and he's family, not blood family, but family. You vouch for him every time and every time I bring him back. I'm asking you this once, to give my kid another shot. I don't care how angry you are, or how upset you're going to be or even how you take that frustration out on him. All I want is for you to just let me do this and to not give me a fucking hard time about it." Sig sighed and pulled a cigarette from a crumpled up pack.

Patience was actually one of Edgar's stronger attributes but he was losing it by the second with Sig. He could not seem to understand why Sig was okay with giving Brandon a second chance. He, however, knew when to give it up, at least for the time being. "Fine, do what you want. I will continue to run my deck the way I run it and I don't want your help or your input. Out there, he's just another greenhorn. He's not a Hansen, he's not your kid, he's mine to torture and I will do it as I see fit. Until that kid can prove to me that he isn't the loser and the failure that I think he is, I will make is life hell." With that said, Edgar left the wheelhouse.

It was quiet, too quiet and Sig's mind would not sit still. He knew that Edgar would be angry but he didn't have any idea that he'd be that angry. Sig couldn't blame him, hell, he should be that mad at the kid but he just couldn't look his daughter in the eye and tell her no anymore. He glanced out the window overlooking the docks and saw the dark figure of his dejected son. With a deep sigh he pulled the window down. "Brandon," Sig waited until the younger man looked up at him. "We need to talk."


	6. Chapter 5

**This chapter is a bit longer, to make up for the shorter last chapter and for the length of time it took for me to post this one. We should start getting to the meat of the story and I'm excited to see what's going to happen. Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed and to everyone who took the time to read. Schools tarts for me next week, so the updates may be a bit slower than normal but I will do my best to find the time. **

Brandon could see his father. Brandon could hear his father. But what Brandon couldn't believe were the words coming out of his father's mouth. He was stunned and frozen in his place. All he seemed to be able to do was just stare. So stare he did. His mouth was agape and his brain was having a hard time processing. No matter how hard he tried, he could not figure out how to answer.

"Brandon," Sig tried again. "You and I need to do some talking. Why don't you come up here and we'll have that little chat."

There it was again, words that didn't seem to make sense. After all the days he'd spent, standing in this exact stop, wishing for his father to be doing exactly what he was doing now, Brandon was at a lose and was without a plan. He knew that he should say something. He knew that he should do something. Why was it so difficult to believe that his father could have a change of heart?

"Are you just going to stand there like an idiot or are you going to come up here? I thought that talking was what you wanted? Isn't that why you've spent so much time standing in that fucking spot, staring up at my wheelhouse?" Sig's voice had a touch of impatience to it and Brandon knew that he had to say something or he'd lose his chance forever.

Brandon cleared his throat, making sure that he had a voice. "Um, yeah, sorry, I'll be right up." Willing his legs to move, Brandon finally managed to put one foot in front of the other and start the short journey to his long overdue destination.

He was nervous. No, he was terrified! Sig was scary on normal days, but in situations that called for a gruffer manner, Sig was downright petrifying. Shaking his hands, Brandon tried to calm his nerves. Where was his sister when he needed her? He hadn't seen her since earlier in the day and at that time she'd been surrounded by people. He took a deep breath, willing the tension that was building in his shoulders to ease.

Scaling over the rail was easy. Entering the gear room was simple. Walking into the galley was a bit harder. Climbing the steep steps that lead to the wheelhouse and his father was almost impossible. "Come on Brandon, you can climb a few measly steps." Talking to himself was crazy but it was the only way he could make his feet move. One step, two steps, three steps. It was getting easier with each one. He was almost to the top, just a couple more and he'd see his father. Brandon stopped, inches away from breaching the surface. Deep breaths, in, out, in, out. He carefully, very carefully, took each step. His father finally came into view and Brandon's heart started to beat rapidly.

"It's about time," Sig, cigarette in hand, said as his son entered the wheelhouse. "Take a seat. I'm not sure how long you and I are going to be here."

Brandon did as he was told and sat in the chair opposite the room from his father and waited, patiently.

"So, your sister came to see me today, on your behalf, and managed to finally convince me to sit down and talk with you. I think that in order for us to get off on the right foot, I'm going to let you start by telling me why you think you deserve a job on my boat." Sig was keeping his patience and his anger in check, for Lexi's sake but there were no guarantees that it would last through this entire conversation. He watched his son shift apprehensively in the co-captains chair and a small smile tried to wiggle onto his lips.

'_Deep breaths, just remember to breathe,' _Brandon silently reminded himself. "I'm not sure I deserve a job but I want you to give me a chance. I want to be able to prove myself to you. I want you to be proud of me. I screwed up dad. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to act. I honestly thought that I was doing the right thing, for me, and that in the end you'd be proud to see me so accomplished. I guess I was wrong and now I have to pay for all those mistakes, all those years I wasn't around. I'm just asking for a second chance."

Sig wasn't sure that he wanted to hear excuses. He wanted an apology. He wanted to hear the words 'I'm sorry' come out of his son's mouth. He took a deep breath to steady himself, "Brandon I don't doubt that you thought what you did was right for you. I'm fairly certain that you've managed over the years to justify it to yourself. I do believe in second chances and I do believe in giving people what they deserve. I'm not sure that you deserve a second chance. I'm not sure that you understand the affect that your leaving has had on the people who depended on you. I'm not sure you understand what it did to your sister. What it did to the family as a whole."

Brandon looked down at the ground. He couldn't look his father in the eye. "Dad, I don't know what it is you want me to say. I feel really bad for leaving, I do. I had dreams about Lexi, dreams that involved her being stuck in a bed for the rest of her life. I doubted my decision, I doubted my leaving. I was stuck though, there wasn't any turning back. I had to live with my choices regardless of whether or not I regretted them."

Sig nodded at the word 'regret.' At least Brandon seemed to feel some remorse, which was a good sign. "Edgar has made it very clear that he does not want you on this boat. I've told him that I have the final say but if I do give you a job, he won't make your life easy. You've managed to hurt a lot of people and it isn't a hurt that they are willing or able to get over any time soon. You have a lot to prove, more than you probably realize, and I just want to make sure that you are up to it. This job isn't easy on a normal day but it's even difficult when you have someone constantly breathing down your neck. Edgar has a beef to pick with you and he won't stop until he's made sure that he's gotten his point across to you."

Brandon picked at the skin on his fingers, his eyes still turned towards the ground. "I know Edgar is pissed at me. I think that I let him down more than I let you down. I'm willing to do whatever it takes, no matter what the cost, no matter what the pain. I'm not just doing this for me dad I'm doing this for Lexi. I owe her so much. I'm also hoping that if I do this, if I last an entire season, that you'll forgive me, that you'll be able to look at me and be proud that I'm your son and not the guy that ran off."

Lots of words but still no apology, Sig sighed. "Brandon, I hear you saying a lot of things and I hear you pedaling excuses and empty reasons but I have yet to hear that you're sorry. It's not easy for me to sit in this wheelhouse with you and not scream and cruse and kick you so hard you'll feel it for a month. It's not easy for me to sit here and look at you and not be completely disappointed in the man I raised. Don't make this more difficult on me; at least be sorry for taking off and bailing on the family when we needed you the most. At least be sorry for breaking your sister's spirit, her heart."

Brandon looked up, eyes wide and confused, "But dad I'm not sorry. I regret the timing, I regret the fact that I hurt my family, I regret what I did to Lexi but I'm not sorry that I left."

Sig's mouth hung open. He was completely in shock. He'd wanted only to hear Brandon apology and to hear his son say that he wasn't sorry was like a slap in the face and Sig's blood was beginning to boil. "You aren't sorry? After all you've done, all that your sister has done, to try to get you back into our good graces and you aren't sorry. I don't understand Brandon, how can that be?"

"Being sorry is to show a sign of weakness and I'm not weak. It wasn't a sign of weakness when I left, it was self-preservation." Brandon bit his lower lip, steeling himself against his father's angry glare.

Sig couldn't sit still. He was having a hard time being in such a confined space with Brandon. He knew that he had to give the kid a job, or he'd never hear the end of it from Lexi, but he was also beginning to see why Edgar was so angry. He shook his head and ran his fingers through this hair before narrowing his eyes at his son. "You not being sorry was not exactly what I wanted to hear you say. I wanted you to feel remorse, I wanted you to feel like you did something wrong. I see now that you don't feel that way and regret isn't the same thing. You can regret it all you want but it won't make you learn from your mistakes and it won't make you not want to do it again. I'm going to give you a job as a greenhorn but understand that I am not doing this for you and I am not doing it so that we can bond. If I don't give you one, Lexi will never let me hear the end of it. However, I don't want you to mention your lack of sorryness to your sister. She has been through enough and I'm not sure she would be able to handle you not being sorry." Sig took a deep breath, scanning the face of his son for any sign that his words were getting through to him. "Edgar will make your life a living hell and you are just to take it and there will be no complaining. There will be no trips to the wheelhouse to get out of doing your job. You wanted to prove yourself, so you better do it. I run a tight ship and we do everything my way. I work my crew hard and I work them long hours. If you don't think that you can handle a couple months of pure torture, pure hell, then I suggest we end this conversation now and you get the fuck off of my boat."

Brandon knew that his lack of apology was really upsetting his father but he had learned over time that saying sorry was a good way for a person to be walked all over. If you said you were sorry it showed that you had weaknesses and Brandon did not have weaknesses, he couldn't have weaknesses. He had fought long and hard to be void of emotion and feelings. He had left his family behind and in order to live with himself he had to be able to block his remorse and his regret from affecting him. He was strong-willed and strong-minded and when he set out to do something, nothing got in his way, not even a pissed off father and a grudge bearing uncle. "I said I wanted this chance and I said I wanted this job so I'm here, through everything. You won't hear me complain, I'll take whatever Edgar feels he needs to throw at me." Brandon looked over at his father; the anger still permeated Sig's eyes. "I wish I could say what you wanted to hear, but nothing in me will allow it. I will prove to you that I am here for good and that nothing like what happened before will ever happen again. You have my word on that."

Sig scoffed, "Your word hasn't really mattered much in the past, so I'll take actions over any words you have to offer. I better see you here tomorrow morning but I'm done looking at you now. Get the fuck out of my wheelhouse and I don't even think about standing on the dock. If I see you before tomorrow, you won't have a job on this boat anymore." Sig was afraid that if he spent any more time with his son there would be bloodshed and he didn't want to be responsible for killing someone.

Brandon stood up and carefully made his way towards the door behind his father, "I promise I will not let you down." He avoided eye contact and slipped through, disappearing from Sig's sight.

* * *

I was standing near the Cornelia Marie with the Harris' and Crosby. We'd been standing there for quite a long time, waiting for any sort of movement or a sign of what was going on in the wheelhouse of the Northwestern. I was getting a little worried. Brandon had been up there for some time and since I couldn't hear any yelling or screaming coming from my father, I wanted to assume that Brandon was dead. When I saw him slip through the door and onto the deck, I breathed a quick sigh of relief. "At least we know that he's still breathing and that Sig hasn't eaten him alive." I leaned into Crosby, allowing him to wrap his strong, warm arms around my body. "How do you think he fared?"

Crosby leaned his chin on the top of my head, "He's walking and without any assistance, I'd say he fared pretty well. I know that you're dying to go find out how it went and I know that if you don't go now it will bother you and then I will have to hear about it."

I pushed myself away from him slightly, looking up at his grinning face. "Are you saying that I whine?"

He nodded his head, "I'm saying that you whine and that you are a master at it." He kissed my forehead, "But I do love that about you. Now go, before he gets too far away and I have to chase him down and tackle him."

I laughed and walked away from the boys, making my way towards my brother. "Brandon," I called after him, hoping that he would slow a bit, "Wait up. I want to talk to you."

Brandon turned and looked at me, waiting for me to approach. "You were waiting for me to come out, weren't you?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "What can I say, I like to pry into others lives. It's a sick desire to know what is going on with everyone around me. So, what happened between you and dad?"

Brandon ran a hand across his face, "He was just being dad, stubborn, mean, and frustrating to the core but he did offer me a job."

I clapped my hands together, "That is awesome. You're going to be so happy to be on board with dad and Edgar. You haven't spent any sort of time with them in so long."

"I don't know Lex. I guess Edgar is really pissed off and dad isn't much better. I'm still the kid who ran off and disappointed everyone. I'm still the kid who abandoned his sister on her hospital bed and didn't attend his mother's funeral. I'm still that kid, who no matter how hard he tries, will never again live up to the family standards." Brandon shifted from one foot to the next, his hands clenched in front of him.

I reached out and patted him on the shoulder, "None of that matters Brandon because you came back. You didn't have to. You knew what was, or what wasn't, waiting for you at home and instead of running forever, you chose to face it. That takes courage and it takes guts and that isn't going to go unnoticed, regardless of what anyone might say."

Brandon looked down at me, "Why did you forgive me? If anyone should be holding a grudge or trying to make my life a living hell, it's you. I hurt you the most. I left you alone."

I studied him. He was quiet and wouldn't look me in the eye. "Brandon I was mad, really mad but I realized that staying mad at you wouldn't do any good. It won't make things better and it won't change the past. I missed you so much and seeing you show up here, I was just glad to have my brother back. Over the last year I've learned that living in the past and not moving forward with one's life is not any way to live. You have to put things away and focus on what's in front of you, in the now. Dad and Edgar will get there, they will, it's just going to take time. Have faith and do the best that you can."

Brandon just shrugged his shoulders, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow before we leave." He turned and walked off down the long and deserted dock.

I watched him until he disappeared into the darkness. I wasn't sure how he was going to handle the next few weeks. I wasn't sure if my dad and/or my uncles would forgive him and accept him back into the folds of the family. I hoped for the best but Brandon had disappointed before and so I could hope for the best but I was going to prepare myself for the worst.

* * *

I hated goodbyes. I hated being left alone while everyone else went out to battle the Bering Sea. I looked to my left and watched the men on the Cornelia Marie scramble around on top of the large stack of pots. I looked to my right and watched the men on the Wizard load box after box of frozen bait onto the boat. I looked straight ahead of me and watched as my family prepared for the long, hard weeks of fishing. I took a deep breath, mentally starting the preparation of dealing with being alone. I heard heavy footsteps off to my left and turned towards the sound. I smiled at Josh as he grew closer, "Hey, you guys almost ready?"

He nodded, "Getting closer. Devyn is at the hotel packing so I'm going to go get her and take her to the airport. Are you going home tonight?"

"Yep, that is the plan if I can manage to drag myself away. After going out last season, it will be really hard to watch the boats sail away without me this time. Everything has been so good over the past few months it will be really hard to be in Seattle by myself." I reached out and wrapped my arms around Josh's waist, leaning into him and resting my head on his shoulder. "I'm going to miss you."

He enveloped me, "I'll miss you too, a lot. Will you watch out for Devyn for me? I told her she could call you if she needed someone to talk to, someone that understood. She's having a really hard time dealing and nothing I say is making it better. I'm at a loss for what to do and all I want is to just make it easier for her."

Speaking into his shoulder, my voice came out muffled. "Just try to be patient with her. She hasn't ever had to deal with someone she cares about taking off for weeks and risking their life in the process. It's hard to comprehend and I was only good at dealing because I had it happen to me every year." I pulled back to look up at him.

He leaned down and kissed my cheek, "Take care of yourself, okay? I don't want to come home to any accidents or any strange personality changes."

I giggled quietly, "I promise. I will be exactly as I am now when you come home. Now go, she's going to be wondering where you're at. Just tell her that everything will be okay and that you will do everything in your power to call her on a regular basis. It may not happen but at least it will make her feel a bit better."

He let go of me, "I'll see you in a few weeks."

I waved at him as he walked away from me, one goodbye down and only half a dozen more to go. I wasn't looking forward to any of them, especially the one with Crosby. I walked slowly towards the Northwestern. I climbed up and over the rail, my eyes focused on the deck below me.

"Don't look so dejected. You've said goodbye to us before and we've always managed to come home safely." Edgar's voice sounded in front of me.

I brought my head up and stared at him. "It doesn't make things easier and you know that."

He nodded, "I know but dragging it out isn't going to make things better. Just say goodbye and get on that plane and go home. You'll feel better once you're in your own house, in your own bed, doing your own thing."

"You just hate goodbyes," I punched him lightly in the shoulder before wrapping my arms around his neck.

He picked me up off the deck, squeezing me tightly. "I do, I really do."

He put me back down on the deck and I went through the process of saying farewell to the remaining members of the crew. Brandon was standing near the bait station and I waved my hand in front of my face as I approached him. "I hope you shower thoroughly before you even think about stepping into my house."

He smiled at me, "Thank you Lex, for everything."

"What are sister's for? Don't let them get to you. Edgar will try and break you but you can't let him. Just be strong and remember that if you make it through the next few weeks, they will see you in a completely different light. They'll respect you." I pulled him into a hug, "Also, be careful. I just got you back I don't need to lose you again."

His arms were around my shoulders and he squeezed briefly before letting me go. "I'll be back, you don't have to worry about that."

I grinned at him, patting him on the shoulder before heading into the hull of ship. I knew my dad was up in the wheelhouse and I climbed the all too familiar steps up to see him. "Hey, you're going to take it easy, right?"

He shook his head, turning to look at me. "You aren't supposed to tell me how to run my ship, remember?" Have you said goodbye to everyone yet?"

"Everyone but Crosby and I've been putting that one off. Dad, I know that you have a point to prove with Brandon but try not to be too hard on him." I stared my dad down as he turned to look out the door behind him.

"I can't promise anything but I will make sure he gets back in one piece. Come over here and give me a hug and then go say goodbye to Crosby. You've got a plane to catch and you really shouldn't miss it." My dad extended his arms and I ran to him.

He held onto me and tears slowly escaped from the corners of my eyes. I sniffled before pulling away. "I'm gonna miss you old man. Be careful and come back to me, okay?"

"Take care of yourself and the house. We should be back mid-December. If you need me, you know how and when to get a hold of me. Now go, standing here and being sad doesn't work for me or for you." He pointed me towards the door.

I smirked at him, "You've always been so good with goodbyes." I leaned over and kissed him on the head, "Bye daddy." I looked over my shoulder as I exited the wheelhouse.

Back down on the docks, I glanced over at the long, black Wizard. I could see Crosby up on the stacks and I forced my feet to make their way in his direction. As I got closer, he happened to glance over and see me. He smiled and climbed down to meet me.

As he neared, I slowed, waiting for him to take me into his arms. They were around me quickly and I willed our bodies to meld into one. I took a deep breath, he smelled sweaty, and musky, with a hint of stale cigarette smoke. To most women, those scents combined would be a turnoff but for me, they just reminded me of my father and that was a comfort but it also made my heart yearn for him more. My hands were in front of me, clingingly tightly to his shirt. "I'd say I don't want you to go but that isn't exactly what you want to hear me say."

"I don't want to say goodbye to you either but we both knew that this was coming and we'll be back together, in Seattle, before we know it." He pulled me closer to him, afraid of letting me go.

The tears were starting and I tried hard to keep them back. "I know but that doesn't make the present any easier. It doesn't make watching you leave any more pleasant, either. It's hard. This is the hardest goodbye I've ever had to say."

"Lexi," He said my name so quietly.

I looked up at him and his lips came crashing down onto mine. Passion, desire, hope, need, want, all coursed through our bodies as one. Every emotion that we were feeling was being experienced in that one kiss. He had never kissed me like this, like he never wanted to let me go. Like it could possibly be the last time he'd ever get to kiss me. I knew the risks and the dangers involved with fishing the Bering Sea and so I kissed him back with just as much fever. I wanted him so badly at that moment but knew that I couldn't have him for weeks. I couldn't keep the tears from falling as he pulled away from me.

"Baby, don't cry. I don't my last vision of you to be a sad one." He wiped the tears away as they flowed down my cheeks.

I tried to smile but could only pull off a weak attempt. "I'll be okay, it's just hard. Once I'm on that plane, things will be a bit better."

"That's my girl," He pulled me to him again, pressing my body to his. "Call me when you get back to Seattle and I will do my best to call you whenever I get a few free minutes."

I nodded, "I will and you better." He kissed me again, before letting go. He kept his eyes on me as he made his way back towards his boat. I waved at him after he'd made it onto the ship before turning around and walking up the hill towards the hotel and my awaiting transportation. I wanted to stand on the docks and watch the ships leave, keeping my eye on them until I couldn't seem them anymore. However, I knew that if I stood near them any longer I'd change my mind and want to go out with them. I turned around to glance at the large ships once more. It was going to be a very long few weeks.


	7. Chapter 6

**So school starts on Monday and not only am I taking a full load but I am also working full time. I know, I'm insane. With that said, I will finish this story, it just might take me a little bit more time, but I'm not sure if I will be able to write anymore for a while. If I can, I will and I do have some good ideas rolling around that will fit nicely into the Lexi Chronicles. Thank you all for the great reviews, they mean so much and I'm so happy that you are enjoying the story. **

Seattle was cold. Seattle was rainy. Seattle was lonely. It had been a week since I'd left Dutch Harbor. A week since the men in my life had left to crab fish the Bering Sea. It had been a quiet week. I hadn't heard from my father, my friend or my boyfriend since the day of my return to Washington. I knew that they were busy and I knew that my calling them just proved that I was lonely and I didn't want any of them to worry about me while they were risking their lives. I tried my hardest to put off thoughts of them and their well being but I found myself constantly stopping and thinking about what they were doing and how they were faring.

I was sitting in the kitchen, enjoying a cup of coffee and a couple Pop Tarts when the phone on the far wall started ringing. I jumped up and hurriedly made a grab for the device. "Hello," I said, my voice laced with excitement. However, when I heard the female voice on the other end say my name, the giddiness I had been feeling quickly ebbed away. "Hey Devyn, what's up?"

"I was just wondering if you'd heard from Josh." Her tone sounded thick, like she had been crying.

'Oh great,' I thought to myself. She'd been a staple in my life over the past week. She'd call everyday and ask me the same thing, 'if I'd heard from Josh,' and everyday I'd have to break her heart just a little more by saying no. I sort of understood where Devyn was coming from. I missed Crosby so I could only imagine how much she was missing Josh. I was used to this life, however, and so I dealt with it better than she obviously did. "No Devyn, I haven't heard from him. If it makes you feel better I haven't heard from my family or Crosby either. The start of the season is always busy, hell the entire season is busy, just give it time, I promise, it all gets easier."

I heard her sigh and then sniffle on the other end of the line. "Thanks, I just thought I'd ask. If you hear from him will you make sure to tell him I want to talk to him?"

"Of course I will tell him but you won't have to rely on my message since he'll probably call you before he gets in contact with me. He misses you Devyn, he does, you just need to be patient." I was trying to be outwardly nice to her but inwardly I was getting ready to throttle the chick. I guess I needed to take my own advice and just be patient. However, I was only being a 'friend' to her because Josh asked me to, not because I enjoyed her incessant whining.

"I know but it's so hard. I've never had to deal with a long-distance thing before. I didn't realize it would be this difficult and this painful." Devyn said, the whining in her voice held to a minimum, thankfully.

I felt for the girl, I really did. I knew how hard it could be, how hard it was, to deal with the no phone calls and the long sleepless nights of worrying. I also knew that there really wasn't anything I could do or say that would make her feel better or make it easier on her. "All we can do is take it one day at a time. Also, what helps is getting yourself into a routine. Find something you enjoy doing or if you have a job, throw yourself into it. Just anything that will help take your mind of what they are doing and the fact that they aren't calling. There is a group of us that meets on a regular basis, a few of the wives and girlfriends that deal with what we deal with. It helps, some, but it's nice to make new friends."

She sighed, again, and I could almost hear her shrug her shoulders in defeat. "Yeah, okay, well maybe. I'll have to get back to you. Again, if you hear from him, please let me know. I guess I'll talk to you later. Bye Lexi."

I listened to the dial tone for a few seconds before replacing the handset on the base. I was used to dealing with my own problems, not dealing with someone else's. I shook my head and was about to turn back to my breakfast when the phone shrilled at me again. "Hello," My fingers were crossed that it wasn't Devyn.

"Hey kiddo, how are things?" I smiled as I listened to my dad question me. "Is everything still in working order? You haven't blown up the house or the car yet, right?"

I giggled, "Everything is fine. Everything is just how you left it. I should be asking you how things are with your crew. Did Edgar kill Brandon yet?"

I could sense my dad rolling his eyes, "Oh god, those two are driving me insane. I told Brandon I was staying out of it but that doesn't stop him from coming into my fucking wheelhouse with his laundry list of complaints. And Edgar, I shouldn't even get started on him or I'll have you on the phone for hours. I knew that Edgar wanted to prove some sort of fucking point with Brandon but I'm afraid that he might be taking it a bit too far, as Edgar sometimes does. He assures me though that he'll only push Brandon until he breaks and then he'll back off. I'm inclined not to believe him though as he seems to get some sort of sick pleasure out of the torturing process."

I smiled, it was good to hear my dad's voice even if it was just complaints. "Well, Edgar will be Edgar and we can't change that. Just don't let him push Brandon overboard or anything. I would like to have him back in one piece so I can have my brother around again. Oh, if you happen to talk to Phil will you please tell him to tell his son to call his girlfriend. I can't take the phone calls anymore. It has become an everyday occurrence and the girl is driving me crazy."

"I am not going to get involved in whatever that is but if I remember I can tell Phil." My dad got quiet and for a minute I thought I'd lost the connection, then I heard him breath. "Lexi, don't get too attached to Brandon just yet, okay. There aren't any guarantees that he'll make it back to Seattle."

"What do you mean? Of course he's coming back to Seattle." I was a bit confused.

"I just don't want you to get your hopes up and then have him bail on you again. He may not make it through the entire season and he just may take off to god knows where. I just want you to prepare yourself if that happens. I don't want to see him hurt you again." The concern in my dad's voice made my eyes water slightly.

"I want so badly to have faith in him though. I want him to want to be a part of the family again." I tried to hide the emotion that saturated my voice. "I just want everything to be normal again, at least as normal as it can be for us."

"I know you do Lex and it will all be that way, someday. Besides, you've got me and Edgar and Norman, what else do you need in life?" My dad said.

I laughed, loudly. "You're right, I need nothing else except maybe a straight jacket and a few crazy pills. You three would drive me into the looney bin and you know it, and I'm pretty sure that Edgar would enjoy doing it just so he could say that he drove his niece crazy, literally."

My dad guffawed and the sound of it made me smile. "He would get a kick out of that wouldn't he? I'll have to tell him you said that. Oh, Junior told me to tell you hello and that he misses you and that when he gets back he'll teach you to skateboard like he promised or something like that. I don't exactly remember what he said and I don't really care." I heard muffled voices and scuffling in the background. "Edgar apparently wants to talk to you," More noise and then the sound of the phone changing hands. "You just had to talk your father into letting your brother on the boat, didn't you?"

"Well hello to you too. How are you doing Edgar? Have you tortured any deckhands lately?" I said sarcastically.

He scoffed at me, "Don't be a smartass. You're way too much like me when you say things like that. I have to say, having your brother on board has been highly amusing for me, oh except for the small fact that he talks back to me and I want to rip his lips from his face. I don't remember him being so blatantly disrespectful before he joined the Navy. I thought the Navy was supposed to teach you how to treat your superiors with respect and dignity? Maybe he missed the day where they taught him that. Who the fuck knows, I just know that if he doesn't get his act together, I'm going to throw him off the boat."

I smiled at my uncle's misery but tried to keep the giddiness from leaking to my voice. "Just remember that you took it upon yourself to make him miserable, or as you put it, make his life a living hell. You didn't honestly think that he'd just take it did you? He knows that you're the boss but he's going to have a hard time looking at you in that way and not as his uncle who has a grudge to settle. You could always go easier on him, give him a little bit of wiggle room and maybe stop breathing down his neck so much."

"Or I could just kick him off the boat. I mean really, it wouldn't be hard for me to fire him and hell, we could find a better replacement, anyone would be better. I could scare another greenhorn. I can't scare Brandon and that bugs me." Edgar sounded angry and frustrated but there was a hint of amusement to his voice.

I shook my head, even though he couldn't hear that. "It may not be as easy as you thought it would be to break him. He may be stronger than you think."

"Ha, he's still Brandon. That boy has always had buttons, I just need to figure out what his current ones are and push them until he can't stand it anymore. I will find a way to break him and he will cry like the little girl he is." An evil overtone took over Edgar's words.

"Whatever," I did not want to be party to whatever nasty things Edgar had in store for Brandon. My cellphone, which was sitting on the counter near my purse, started to vibrate violently. "Edgar, I have to go but I miss you tons and tons and tell dad I love him and miss him too. I will talk to you later and we can continue talking about your wicked and sadistic attempts to destroy Brandon's will to live."

He snorted, "Sounds like a plan. Take care of yourself Lex, okay? Bye Kid."

I quickly made a grab for the other ringing machine and managed to answer it in the nick of time. "Hello," I said breathlessly.

"What took you so long to answer and why was your other phone busy?" Josh said impatiently. "It's not like I have all the time in the world."

"It is not my fault everyone seems to want to talk to me today. You are the third person to call in the last half hour, so get off my back. Have you called your girlfriend yet?" I asked before I forgot.

"No, I called you. Is it bad that I don't really want to talk to her?" Josh asked.

I took a deep breath and sighed. "Please don't put me in the middle Josh. I don't want to play mediator with the two of you. Why don't you want to talk to her?" I couldn't help but ask, my curiosity getting the better of me.

"I've never had to deal with having a whiny girlfriend before. I don't know how to handle it. You just dealt with my leaving, you didn't try to talk me out of it, you didn't tell me over and over again how much you wanted me to come home and how you weren't sure you'd be able to make it through the duration of the time alone. I've called her once Lexi and I got an earful. I can't deal with that every day, it will drive me absolutely nuts." All of his words seemed to come out as one and I it took me a second to decipher.

"She hasn't had to deal with having a long-distance relationship or a boyfriend who has such a scary job. Give her some time, she'll come around, at least I hope." I said hoping my words would ease his anxiety.

He was quiet, then, "I guess. I don't know, she doesn't really seem like the type of girl that will ever be able to handle my lifestyle or my job. Not like you always handled it."

Oh good, now he was comparing me to his current girl, this couldn't be good. "Josh, I was used to people I cared about leaving by the time you and I even started dating. Just because I handled it well on the outside, didn't mean that it didn't bother me and that it didn't hurt to have you gone. I just knew from experience what to say to you and what to let you believe. The last thing I wanted was for you to worry and to get hurt."

"See, that's exactly it. You got it. She doesn't get it and I'm not sure that she ever will." Josh said, exasperated. "I want it to be drama free, no complications, just easy. But I'm asking for too much, right?"

I let out a light giggle, "We all want relationships like that Josh but you know as well as I do that they aren't that easy. If you really want to be with the girl, then you will just have to be patient with her. You're going to have to play the role of comforter and the role of crab fisher all in one. Just don't burst a blood vessel doing both. You are so patient and so good with so many just put her on that list. It can only work if you want it too."

I heard him groan, "You need to stop making sense and tell me what I want to hear. But you're right, I'll keep trying."

"That's my boy. I really need to finish my breakfast and you really need to call Devyn. Try to keep things light, no need to be deep with you so far away. Tell her you miss her and that you're thinking about her. It will make her feel better and it will make things easier." I reached across the table and picked up my half-empty cup of coffee, wrinkling my nose at its cold contents. "I miss you buddy, and be safe and careful. I will talk to you later." I snapped my cell shut and dumped the liquid down the drain.

* * *

The Bering Sea rocked the boat brutally. Brandon struggled to maintain his footing and balance as the boat pitched back and forth. He was standing at his bait station, filling bag after bag of smelly, chopped up herring. It wasn't a glamorous job by any means, but nothing on this boat was glamorous. He had to admit that crab fishing in Alaska was a lot harder than anything the Navy had thrown at him in his five years. He had a bit more respect for the men that did this as their way of life and he had more respect for his father and his uncles. They'd been doing this for as long as he could remember and he never knew just how hard or dangerous it truly was.

His mind was drifting in and out of reality as his body struggled to keep up with the demands that were being thrown his way. He was numb from head to toe but what he could feel hurt. It hurt like he'd never hurt before. He was wet. He was cold. He was hungry. He was tired. He just wanted to curl up in his bunk and sleep, sleep for days. There was no rest for the weary, however, and the only sense of peace and sanity that Brandon would muster was escaping into his head, into his daydreams. He was in the middle of a particularly nice one when Edgar's angry voice broke through and dissipated the fantasy. Brandon turned to look at his uncle, "What did you just say?"

"If you'd get your fucking head out of the clouds and back onto the boat where it belonged I wouldn't have to repeat myself with you all the time. I said, get over here with that bait now, we're waiting of you." Edgar snapped his fingers and pointed to the waiting pot.

Brandon grabbed for the bait and went about his lowly duty of climbing into and out of the steel cage. The constant in and out movement was causing Brandon's arms to ache and his shoulders to give out under the weight of his body. No matter how fast he moved, he was constantly being told to move faster. If he walked to the bait station, he was told to run. If he ran to the empty pot, he was told to run faster. It never failed. No matter what he did he was doing it wrong. Edgar was always there, right in his ear telling him what it was that he was doing wrong. It's like he got some sick pleasure out of the torture. Brandon glanced over at Jake and Edgar laughing at some secret joke between them. Edgar smiled and Jake grinned and then Edgar put his arm around the younger man. Brandon had, at one time, that same kind of relationship with his uncle, but leaving had caused so much tension and a void that he wasn't sure could ever be crossed. Yet, Brandon yearned for the older man's praise and acceptance. However, his stubborn Hansen-ness seemed to get in the way. He was defiant with Edgar. He talked back to Edgar. He did everything in his power to piss off the deck boss at, what seemed to be, no cost. Brandon knew that if he wanted to get back into the good graces of his father and his uncle he'd have to straighten up and start doing what he was told. Just as he was thinking he needed to change his ways, a crab leg came flying out of nowhere to smack him in the back of the head. Brandon whirled around, not quite sure if this was done in a joking manner or if it was meant to hurt. Seeing the smug look on Edgar's face told him it was the latter and all thoughts of changing escaped his mind. His hands started to ball themselves into fists and his nostrils flared as he locked onto the menacing glance of his uncle. "I don't think that there was any call for that. I've been doing my job and doing everything you have told me to. Maybe it's time for you to back off and just let me adjust some." Brandon's heart was beating fast and the anger he was feeling was starting to bubble towards the surface.

Edgar, who had thrown the crab leg to get a rise out of the younger man, just stared back. "I'm pretty sure I'm still the boss around here and you'll do what I tell you to do and you'll do it just as I tell you to do it. Also, I'll let you know when you're doing your job up to my standards and right now you are way off the mark. We have no room for cockiness on this boat and we have no room for little boys who run off when things get tough. Get back to your bait station and start getting a jump on it for the next string. We have many more pots to run through and we are a long way from this being over."

Brandon bit back his words. He knew that now was not the time, no matter how perturbed he was. He'd wait until a more opportune time came along and then he'd show the 'boss' just who he was messing with.


	8. Chapter 7

**Not much to say except thank you for the reviews and enjoy.**

His hands pinned my arms against the wall. His lips moved expertly up and down my neck, hitting all the spots just right. My spine tingled and my knees grew weak. One hand released my arm and slowly inched its way up my shirt to the clasp at the front of my bra. How he knew I was wearing a front-clasp bra is a mystery. With a quick flick of his fingers he had it undone and his hand cupped my breast. His lips moved to mine and in one quick fluid motion he lifted me up and helped me wrap my legs around his waist. He pressed me back up against wall, his body pushed into mine. I tried desperately with trembling fingers to undo the buttons of his shirt. It was a daunting task but one I managed to accomplish with some help from him. With his shirt tossed onto the floor I ran my hands up and down his muscular back. I ran my fingernails along his skin, causing him to moan softly against my neck. At that moment, he reached for the hem of my shirt and wrestled it over my head, letting it fall from his fingers to the floor. His arms wrapped around my waist as he moved us away from the wall towards the awaiting bed. He laid me down gently, his lips pressing against mine once again. His kisses continued down my neck to my chest and tickled down my stomach. He looked up, his gaze locking onto mine. A grin danced across his face as he tauntingly undid the button on my jeans before sliding them down my thighs and calves. At my feet he smiled and haphazardly dropped them to the floor. He crawled back up to me, his lips meeting mine once again. My fingers pulled at his hair and entangled themselves in his curly locks. "I want you, now." I moaned through the kisses. It was enough for him. The rest of our clothing was removed quickly and he lowered himself on top of me, his breath tickling my ear. My hands grasped his strong shoulders as he slowly moved in and out of me. Our bodies fit together perfectly and the sensations were overwhelming every part of me. My breathing deepened and his pace quickened. We moved as one, our climaxes reaching their pivotal releases at the same time. I muffled my screams into the skin of his shoulder and he grabbed my lips with his to quiet his own vocal pleasures. He held me tightly as wave after wave passed through us before finally letting me go to look down at me. Sweat beaded on his forehead and lust filled his eyes. He kissed me again before rolling to the side of me, his arm still strewn across my stomach. "You are absolutely amazing…I just want you to know that." I whispered to him, my voice not able to go any louder. He winked at me and kissed my shoulder lightly. He didn't say a word, just pulled me to him and wrapped his arm tightly around my body. He was warm and when I pressed my ear to his chest, I could hear his heart beating. This was perfect and there wasn't another place on the entire planet that I wanted to be more than next to him. I could hear his breathing slow and deepen and I knew that he was drifting off to sleep. I closed my own eyes and soon I too was off in the blissful land of dreams.

I awoke with a start. I was sweating and my heart was pounding like a drum inside my chest. I took a couple deep breaths to try and slow my quickened pulse. Once my breathing and heart rate were back to a somewhat normal pace, I glanced around to take in my surroundings. Just as I had figured, it had been a dream. "Oh damn," I whispered to no one, "I've been in this house alone for far too long." However, I smiled to myself as I recalled the elaborate and realistic dream I had just experienced. I apparently needed Crosby and from the vividness of the dream, I needed him bad. I rolled over and looked at the clock. It was early but there was no way I was getting back to sleep, not after that dream.

I crawled out of bed and was thinking about jumping into a cool shower to try and tame my raging hormones when the phone near my bed started to ring. I debated on whether or not to let the machine get it, it was awfully early in the morning, but figured that it could possibly be my father or Josh, bored while on wheel watch. "Hello," I answered anyway.

"Hey beautiful, I didn't think you'd be up this early." Crosby's husky voice filled my head and my body instinctively reacted to it.

"I have you to blame for my early hour." The dream flashed through my mind once again causing my heart to pick up its pace. "I had a very, erm, nice dream about you and me."

"Oh really, and what did this dream entail." There was a hint of playfulness to his voice. "If it's got you out of bed, it must have been really good or some kind of nightmare, hopefully the first rather than the later."

I smiled and took a deep breath, "Let's just say that it was very vivid and very…erotic. It made me really miss having you in bed with me. It made me realize just how lonely this house is."

"Only a couple more weeks left if everything continues as planned and then I'll be back and you can keep me in bed with you for as long as you want." He teased. "Lexi, I just want you to know that you aren't the only one who misses and you aren't the only one who feels a bit lonely. This has been a lot harder than I thought it would be and I just want you to know that I miss you too and that I think about you constantly." His voice took on a more serious tone.

"Aww, you miss me. I feel so loved. We can handle a couple more weeks. They'll go by so fast and you'll be here before either one of us realizes it, right?" I clutched the phone closer to my ear, giving me a false sense of security. "You and I should take a vacation together, some sort of road trip, just you and me, alone, for weeks on end."

I heard him chuckle, "Now that sounds like a plan that I can get behind. I wouldn't mind spending some alone time with you, a lot of alone time with you."

"Are you on wheel watch duty?" I asked him, wanting to make sure that he was alone in the wheelhouse.

"Yep, I have another three hours before Keith gets back and I go back out on deck. Why, are you going to tell me all about this dream you had? The one that has made you obviously lust for my body." The playfulness was back and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm not sure you can handle it, it's pretty hot and steamy. I don't want anyone to walk in on you, you know, in case you get a little too excited." I crawled back into bed, knowing that this phone conversation was going to last awhile.

I proceeded to tell him all about the dream, elaborating in parts where I felt it necessary and leaving out other parts that needed to be said at a more 'private' moment. I could hear his slow even breathing on the other end of the line and occasionally he'd comment or laugh. When I was finished, he stayed quiet for a few long seconds. I begin to worry that maybe our connection had gone bad, "Crosby, you still with me?"

"I know that now is probably not the best or most romantic time to tell you this but, what the hell. Lex, I love you." He said it so quietly I wasn't sure that I heard him right.

"Did you just tell me that you loved me?" I didn't want to embarrass him but I needed to be sure that I heard him correctly.

Again, he was quiet for a long period of time before softly told me, "Yes. That's exactly what I said. Look, I've been meaning to tell you for awhile. I wanted to tell you before I left but for some reason I couldn't do it. I don't know why I can now but something about your dream made me realize just how much do I love you and how much I don't ever want to lose you."

My heard started beating fast again and it had nothing to do with the dream this time. "I never thought I hear you say that to me. I imagined you'd say it, but most guys are so strange about it." This time it was my turn to be quiet. "I love you too Cros, so much."

The tone in his voice screamed happiness, "I'm so glad to hear you say that. I didn't want to freak you out by saying it...it's one of the reasons I held off for so long but I should have known better. I should have known that you felt the same way."

I scooted down further under my covers, the phone still pressed against my ear. I loved the sound of his voice. It made me feel like he was here with me. The house didn't feel so big or so dark or so empty. With his voice in my ear, I felt comfort and I felt loved. I was getting sleepy again and he must have realized it because he told me to go back to sleep and dream about him a little more and that he'd talk to me again shortly. The last thing he said to me before I clicked the phone off was, 'I love you Lexi.' Man could those words make a girls heart swell.

* * *

They were on their last trip. There were only a few more days of the season from hell left and Brandon was more than ready to go home. Hell, he was more than ready to go anywhere but where he was at now. At this moment, he hated the Bering Sea. He hated Alaska. He hated the Northwestern and he certainly did not like his uncle. Edgar's relentless torturing had only continued with force and the harder Brandon seemed to try, the more Edgar tortured. Brandon wasn't sure if it was his imagination or if Edgar did really seem to be enjoying the tormenting but after hearing several comments from other deck hands, Brandon knew that it wasn't just him that thought this. He'd tried to make peace. He had tried to call a truce. Nothing seemed to work and nothing seemed to satisfy the pompous son-of-a-bitch. Brandon was tired and he was out of patience. If Edgar wanted a war, then Brandon was about ready to give him one. He no longer cared that Edgar was the deck boss or that his father had told him time and again to listen to Edgar and do what he was told. For the most part, he was getting along with Sig. Sure they had their moments and no, their relationship wasn't near what it used to be. But Sig was talking to him like he was his son and not like some traitor who had abandoned ship.

Currently, he was sitting at the galley table, cramming down eye-popping amounts of carbs and fats to help get him through what was sure to be a horrible day. He had just opened his mouth to shovel in another fork full when his father called down to him from the wheelhouse.

"Brandon, get up here. You have a phone call." Sig shouted.

Taking another quick bite, he grabbed his cup of coffee and climbed the steps. "Who is it, do you know?"

Sig held the phone out to his son, "It's your sister. She wants to know how you're doing."

Brandon smiled as he took the phone from his father. "Hey Lexi, how's Seattle?"

I smiled to myself, he didn't sound broken. Maybe Edgar had yet to succeed in his dirty deed. "Seattle is good. It's been a little chilly and a little lonely but I've been spending a lot of time over at Edgar's with Louise, so that's help to keep my mind busy. How are you doing? You sound like you're surviving."

Brandon glanced over at his father. He didn't want to say anything that would get him into trouble. "Um, it's been okay. A lot harder than I thought it would be but I guess I'm managing. Dad said that he's seen improvement and my body doesn't hurt as bad as it did the first couple of weeks. Ya know, we never gave dad and them enough credit, this job sucks and they've made a living out of it."

I laughed, "They are tough men, so it only makes sense that they would have chosen to do something like crab fish the Bering Sea. Besides that, I don't think they had much of a choice. Granddad sort of forced them into it at a young age. Just be thankful that dad didn't do that to you, he at least gave you a choice."

Brandon looked over at Sig again, this time Sig was looking back. "Maybe he should have forced me into child labor. That way, maybe, I wouldn't have needed to run off. Maybe I would have been man enough to stick around. Maybe I would have been able to stand up and deal with what was thrown my way instead of tucking tail and running away."

I was too stunned to speak. Every time Brandon had been asked why he'd left, he'd always just said that he needed to grieve in his own way. That he needed to be a man and do what felt right to him. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that he was as lost and as scared as the rest of us were. "Brandon…"

"Don't, forget I said anything," He interpreted me. "Look Lexi, I probably should have said this already, but I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you and I never wanted to be looked at as being that 'guy who bails.' I really thought, at the time, that I was doing what was best for me but looking back, I was just being selfish and I was scared out of my mind." Sig was staring at him still, and it was unnerving Brandon terribly. "Look, I gotta go. Edgar will be jumping down my throat any second if I'm not out on deck. Thanks for calling and I will see you in a matter of days." He hung up the phone and looked at his father.

"You apologized. I wasn't sure that you felt like you were sorry about the whole ordeal. What happened to 'being sorry is a sign of weakness'?" Sig looked at him, questioningly.

Brandon just shrugged his shoulders. "I guess being out here has made me realize a few things, one of them being the fact that I didn't know how good I had it, until I didn't have it anymore and the second being the fact that running showed more weakness than sticking around and taking care of my family. Everything that happened sucked but we were still a strong family and I only tried to weaken that." Brandon slowly made his way towards the stairs, "I'm sorry dad, I really am!" With that, Brandon ducked out of sight and out onto the deck.

Sig was quiet. He couldn't believe that he'd heard Brandon say those words but he was very thankful that his son had finally come around. Lexi was right. Having Brandon out here had done him some good and it had helped. Things were far from perfect but they were a hell of a lot closer to being fixed than they were a few weeks ago. Sig picked up the loud hailer, "We have to try and pull all 200 of our pots and get them reset before the end of the day. In about 72 hours we're gonna be hit with a huge storm and I want to be on our way back to Dutch by that point. Let's haul ass boys."

* * *

Brandon had considered exacting revenge on Edgar. In fact, it was something that he had thought extensively about. However, with the amount of work that they had been doing over the last three days had left him with little time to think about anything, let alone how to get back at his uncle. Brandon had worked furiously baiting pot after pot and he had also gotten the chance to help at the sorting table. One good thing about the crew being so busy was that Edgar didn't have time either. Brandon was pretty much left to his own devices and as long as he continued to do what needed to be done, Edgar pretty much left him alone.

The entire crew worked together flawlessly and they managed to get all 200 pots baited and set and then hauled within the 72 hour time frame that Sig had set. The last pot of the last string was on the horizon and the crew couldn't wait to be finished. Once the pot was hauled and stacked and the crab had been sorted, Sig ordered the crew to prepare the deck for the journey back to Dutch and for the impending storm.

Edgar ordered Brandon to tend to his bait station. Brandon did as he was told. He tied down all the loose bins and emptied the herring chopper. He tossed the rest of the frozen bait overboard and rounded up all the bait bags and buckets. After he was finished, he helped hose down the deck and worked with Jake in tying down the sorting table. The wind had started to pick up and was blowing frantically across the deck. It whipped at the crew's faces and threatened to loosen the large stack of pots. Edgar was working on securing the pots and Brandon figured he had it under control so he started to head into the gear room with the rest of the crew. Edgar, however, had other ideas and barked at him to come back outside and to help finish securing the pots. Brandon muttered under his breath and shuffled his way towards his uncle.

Edgar looked at him, shaking his head in disappointment. "This job isn't finished until all the crab is unloaded and the boat is cleaned and prepped for Opi's. Don't you dare start with the attitude, I've been patient and I've let you have your space but let's not forget that I'm still the boss."

"Whatever," Brandon mumbled under his breath. He only had a matter of hours left with Edgar and then he could ignore the older man for as long as he wanted. Since Brandon had no plans for coming back for the next crab season, these were his last moments of having to do what the 'boss' told him too.

"What was that," Edgar snapped. "You know, I thought that after a couple months out here, I'd see some improvement, maybe even see a hint of the Brandon I used to know. You, however, have managed to prove only one thing, that you really are a loser."

Brandon clenched his fists and steeled his anger. "You can think whatever you want Edgar but I've managed to prove myself to the two people that matter and you aren't one of them. I truly don't give a fuck what you think, so maybe it's time for you to go torment someone else."

"Don't be jumping ahead of yourself there boy. I'm not so sure you've managed to prove yourself to anyone. Your old man is only being nice to you because of your sister and well, your sister is only being nice because that's just who she is and what she does." Edgar wanted to deck the kid but thought better of it. He'd wait until they got to Dutch and then he'd have it out with the smart ass.

Brandon did his best to ignore Edgar. He set about making sure that all the ties on the pots were properly in place and that the chains were secure. He was busy working on a particularly stubborn tie, one that was all knotted up and not tied right, when he saw it out of the corner of his eye.

He was frozen in place. It was like a giant black wall, hurtling towards the small white boat. He wanted to scream at Edgar, to warn him of the impending doom but no words came out. He looked around for something to hold onto but the water was coming and it was coming fast. He turned to look at Edgar and the man's eyes were wide with horror. Brandon turned around again, just as the boat and everything, including the two men, was engulfed in a monstrous wave.


	9. Chapter 8

**I know, so soon after I posted the last chapter but I had a bit of free time and I was in a writing mood so you get the benefit of not having to wait long to find out what happened. Enjoy!!**

It was dark. It was cold. Water was everywhere and it was pulling him in every direction. He had no idea where he was, if he was still even on the boat. He didn't know where Edgar was. He reached out but found nothing but water. His limbs were starting to go numb and his lungs were on fire. He tried again to find Edgar but came up empty. If only he could get some sort of bearing. If only he could find some solid object in which to grab onto to. He tried to swim. He kicked his legs as hard and as fast as he could but it only lasted for a few short seconds before his legs refused to move anymore. His eyes burned from the salt water but he couldn't see anything anyway. He was surrounded by blackness, icy cold blackness. He had to stay calm and he had to try and find Edgar. He flailed both of his arms, hoping and praying that he'd find something. His hand hit something hard, something metal. He made a conscious effort to wrap his fingers around it and grip a hold of it tightly. It took all of his strength to not let go of that bar. With is free hand he made another attempt to try and find Edgar. He searched and he searched, his arm and his legs moving in every direction. His foot kicked something, something that didn't feel like metal, something that felt soft. In order to make a grab for the object, he'd have to let go of his safety hold. It could be Edgar. He'd have to risk his life to save Edgar. He let go of the metal object and pushed himself towards where the softer object had been. He reached out and grabbed, hoping that he'd connect with something. It felt like clothing, it felt like body parts. He held on, willing himself to not let go as he attempted once again to find something hard, something attached to the boat. He swung his arm out. His wrist smashed into a metal bar. It hurt but he pulled himself closer to the object, wrapping his free arm and his legs tightly around it. He pulled Edgar to him and held on for all he was worth. The water had to recede shortly, he just needed to not pass out until that time came.

He was growing tired and his arms and legs screamed at him. They wanted to relax. He wanted to relax. He wanted to just drift off into a nice, peaceful sleep, one in which no one would bother him and no one would force him to wake up and work on the deck of a crab boat. He shook his head, he had to remain calm. He had to maintain consciousness. The swirling of the water was letting up. He could see the boat about him. He could see the sky. The water was gone and he was lying on the deck of the Northwestern, his arm tightly coiled around Edgar's shoulders. The older man wasn't moving and it appeared to Brandon that he wasn't breathing either. With the little bit of strength that he had left, he picked up his uncle and slowly carried him into the gear room.

The rest of the crew was waiting for them. They took Edgar out of Brandon's arms and someone told Brandon to strip down to nothing. He was wrapped in warm blankets and helped into the galley where he was told to sit and wait. He was shaking. It was uncontrollable. He looked around but didn't see Edgar. Jake was standing in the kitchen and Brandon looked over at him. "Jake, where's Edgar?"

Jake glanced over at him, a sad look in his eyes. "He's still in the gear room. Norman and Sig are with him."

"Is he…" Brandon didn't want to finish his sentence. The look in Jake's eyes was almost heartbreaking. There was no way that Edgar was dead. Brandon had risked his life to save his uncle and he wasn't going to allow him to die. "Is he okay?"

Jake, with tears in his eyes, kept his gaze towards the floor. "He's breathing and he has a weak pulse but he still hasn't woken up. Sig's called the Coast Guard but no one is sure how long it will take for them to get here with the wind blowing the way it is. Good news, we aren't very far from Saint Paul Island."

Brandon couldn't believe it. Edgar had always been so tough and so strong. Brandon never once thought that the guy was vulnerable. He never once thought that Edgar could be hurt while crab fishing the Bering Sea. As much as he disliked his uncle at the moment, the last thing Brandon wanted was for Edgar to not be around anymore. Brandon closed his eyes and started to silently pray. He had done all he could. He had managed to keep Edgar on the boat. Now it was up to God and Edgar to do the rest.

* * *

I paced the floor, back and forth and back and forth. Something wasn't right. I knew that something wasn't quite right but I didn't know what. I just knew that it had to do with the boat. That it had to do with someone on the boat. My heart was pounding in my chest. Why hadn't they called? Why hadn't my dad called? He always called when they were on their way back to Dutch. I knew that it was time for them to be headed in, to offload the last bit of their quota. Why hadn't he called? The phone rang and I jumped. I stared at the handset clutched between my fingers. I pushed the talk button and held it to my ear. "Hello," I was scared. Something bad had happened.

"Lexi," It was a voice I knew but one that I couldn't pinpoint at the moment. "Lexi its Keith from the Wizard, I wanted to call you and…well are you sitting down?"

I was confused, why would I be sitting down, what had happened? I nodded my head but then realized that he couldn't see me. "Yeah, I'm sitting." I collapsed into the nearest kitchen chair.

"Okay good. Look, the crab fleet got hammered pretty hard with a severe storm and well…the Northwestern got slammed by a pretty large rouge wave. Your brother and Edgar were on deck when it happened." Keith took a deep breath, "You still with me?"

I hadn't realized that I wasn't breathing. "I'm still here. Are they both okay? Are they both alive?" I knew something bad had happened.

"Brandon is okay. He managed to grab Edgar and a pot and keep them both on board the boat. Edgar, well, he had to be air-lifted to Dutch. From Dutch, they'll take him to Anchorage by plane. As far as I know he's in pretty bad shape." Keith stopped talking.

"Why didn't my dad call and tell me this?" I wanted to cry. I couldn't lose Edgar.

Keith sighed, he must have known that this question was coming. "I guess the antenna for the satellite phone was knocked off when the wave hit. Your dad has only been able to communicate through radio. He says that you need to tell Louise and that you need to fly up to Anchorage as soon as you can. I'm so sorry that I have to be the one to tell you this. If you need to get any sort of message to your father, just let me know."

The tears were starting to form but I pushed them back. "Tell him that I'm on my way to Anchorage and tell him to call me as soon as he can. Oh and can you tell Crosby to call my cell as soon as you guys are back in Dutch?"

"I will pass on both of your messages. Lexi, Edgar is going to be okay. He's tough. He won't let something like this get him. He just can't." Even Keith had his doubts.

"Thanks Keith. I have to call Louise now." I hung up the phone and stared at the numbers on it. Oh boy, this was going to be one difficult phone call to make.

* * *

I was pacing again, only this time I was pacing around the waiting area of the Anchorage hospital. Louise had gone into ICU to visit Edgar. He was still unconscious but his vitals were stable and he was able to breathe on his own but they kept him hooked up to the ventilator, just in case, the doctor had said. None of that mattered, not if he never woke up. Louise and I had managed to get a late flight out of Seattle up to Anchorage. We had arrived really early in the morning about the same time that they moved Edgar into ICU. He had arrived at the hospital only a few short hours before we did.

Crosby had called while I'd been in the air and informed me that the Wizard arrived safely into Dutch and that Keith had gotten him a ticket on the first plane in the morning to Anchorage. He said that he was sorry that he couldn't be there sooner but that he'd get there as quickly as he could. I still hadn't heard from my dad but when I had called Crosby back after we'd landed, he told me that Keith and Sig were in constant communication and that Sig wasn't too far from Dutch and that he was hurrying as fast as he could.

This sucked. I was in another hospital with someone else I really cared about lying in one of the beds. This needed to stop. People I loved needed to stop getting hurt. I continued my pacing, receiving nasty looks from the few people that happened to be in the small lobby with me. I could have cared less though, the pacing was keeping me from crying and it was keeping my mind focused on other things. I didn't know what those other things were but as long as I kept pacing the tears stayed at bay.

Louise walked into the lobby and I slowed to a stop. Her eyes were red and puffy and she clutched a used tissue in her hand. She sniffled and looked up at me. "You can go in and see him if you want. He's still not awake but the doctor and the nurses said that talking helps, if not the patient then the person doing the talking. I'm going to go the ladies room and then down the cafeteria to grab a cup of coffee. I'll be there when you're done." With another sniff she walked off in the direction of the restrooms.

I wasn't sure I wanted to go in and see Edgar. I wasn't sure I could stand the sight of all the tubes and wires that would be connected to him, keeping him alive. I decided that for Louise's sake and for Edgar's, that I'd go in and see him. At the entrance to ICU I scrubbed my hands and put hospital booties over my shoes. The nurse pointed me in the direction of his room and I slowly and cautiously proceeded in that direction. I stopped when I reached his door. I leaned up against the wall and took a few deep breaths. I peeked my head around the doorframe and saw Edgar, lying in bed. The monitors were beeping away and the sound of the breathing machine was methodic. He was pale but the skin around is eyes and mouth were red. He looked like death. He looked like he might never wake up. I couldn't stop them. Standing there staring at Edgar lying in bed like that, the tears just came on their own. All of the worry, all the stress, all of the sadness that I'd been feeling since last night came flooding out as if a dam had been broken. I lowered myself into the chair by his bed and placed my head into my hands. I wasn't going to fight it anymore. I just allowed myself to cry.

* * *

Brandon hadn't been allowed to see Edgar once he'd carried the man into the gear room. Nick and Jake had kept him in the galley when the Coast Guard had come to airlift Edgar from the ship. Now that they were back in Dutch, all Brandon wanted to do was get to Anchorage and find out how his uncle was doing.

Sig was frantic. He had been trying, since they arrived in Dutch, to secure a flight to Anchorage for his entire crew. The early morning flight was completely booked and Sig didn't know whether or not to charter a flight or to leave someone behind. Jake had already insisted upon going and there was no way that Matt was going to just sit in Dutch with the boat while his best friend was laid up in a hospital hundreds of miles away. Norman was an obvious choice for going, being family and all, so that left Nick and Brandon. Sig knew that Brandon wanted nothing more than to know how Edgar was doing. The kid had saved Edgar's life after all and leaving him in Dutch would just be cruel. Sig had asked Nick what he wanted to do and Nick had told him that he wanted to go. So Sig sucked it up and chartered a flight to leave Dutch for Anchorage as soon as possible.

Crosby, who had stopped by the boat to see how everyone was doing and found out about the chartered flight, joined them in the small airport as they waited for the plane to be finished preparing. Crosby watched as Brandon paced back and forth across the small terminal and he couldn't help but smile. "You know, your sister does exactly that when she's nervous or anxious."

Brandon looked over at him, "What?"

"She paces, just like your pacing now. She'll do it for hours. She says that it keeps her mind focused and that it keeps her from crying. She says if she stops that she'll just break down into tears. She did it when Josh was in the hospital having surgery." Crosby looked over at Sig before glancing back at Brandon.

"Oh, I guess she does." Brandon took a seat across from his father and folded is arms across his chest. "Has anyone heard from Lexi or Louise?"

Sig shook his head, he'd been trying to call Edgar's wife since they'd docked in Dutch but all he'd been able to get was her voice mail.

Crosby cleared his throat, "Lexi called me when she landed but I haven't heard anything from her since then. She said she call me if anything changed."

"Do you think he'll be okay?" Brandon asked the simple question that plagued everyone's mind.

Sig just stayed quiet and Crosby only shrugged his shoulders. The group sat in silence, not so patiently waiting to board their only hope to Anchorage.

* * *

I hadn't stayed in Edgar's room for very long. I couldn't even find my voice to talk to him. I had just cried until I couldn't cry anymore, then I left just as quietly as I had come and went and found Louise in the cafeteria. I reached into my purse to find my phone, I figured I'd call Sig and give him an update, even though there wasn't anything to update. I discovered as I turned the phone on that I had messages, and lots of them. Sig had called. Brandon had called. Crosby had called. Even Jake and Josh had called because they'd heard over the radio what had happened. I excused myself from Louise's presence and ducked outside to return the phone calls. I couldn't get a hold of Crosby or my dad or Brandon but Josh answered his phone on only the second ring.

"Hey, how is everything? How is Edgar doing? Is he okay, is he awake?" Josh rushed through all of his questions.

"Slow down for a second. Edgar is still the same. His vitals are good and he can breathe on his own but he's still in a coma. God, I don't even like using that word, it sounds so permanent. He's still sleeping, that sounds better." The tears were starting again.

Josh heard the crack in my voice and switched over from panic mode to soothing mode. "Lex it will be okay. Edgar will be fine. If his vitals are good and he's breathing, he'll wake up. He has to wake up."

I sniffed, "I hope so. I can't stand seeing him like this. He's not the Edgar I know. He's pale and he looks so sick. I could only stand to be in his room for a short period of time. All I seem to be able to do is cry and that isn't helping anyone. Louise isn't even talking anymore. She just sits in the cafeteria and drinks coffee and if she isn't drinking coffee, she's staring off into space. It's like watching my dad after the accident. It's breaking my heart to see her like that Josh, I can't stand it anymore."

"The rest of your family is on their way. Sig charted them a flight and it took off a few hours ago. I'm sure that they'll be arriving in Anchorage before too long. That should help, that should at least give you a break from being the strong support." Josh was trying and I really appreciated his help.

"I'm so tired and I have no idea how long I've been here. Everything seems to be in slow motion and my brain isn't focusing on anything. I've cried to the point where I'm not sure I can cry anymore, which obviously I can because I'm crying again, and the entire world just seems hazy." I started pacing.

"Stop pacing and go lay down for a bit. I'm sure you and Louise can find an empty spot somewhere. You two just need to close your eyes for awhile and gather your strength back up. You're going to need it when everyone gets there and questions start flying every which way. You'll also need it when Edgar wakes up." Josh sounded hopeful and that helped lift my spirits some.

"Thanks, I'll go get Louise and see if we can do just that. I'll try to keep my phone on and if I hear anything I'll call you." He thanked me and I snapped the phone shut. I rubbed my hands up and down my arms, trying to warm my body back up. The cold air enveloped me and sunk into my skin. My body started to go numb but I didn't care, I already felt numb.

Louise and I found an empty waiting room not far from the entrance to ICU. We pushed chairs together and managed to form ourselves a couple of semi-comfortable resting places. I felt like I had just closed my eyes when I heard voices coming from down the hall. I looked over at Louise, she was sleeping but it looked to be a restless one. I sat up and glanced around my surroundings. The voices sounded like they were coming from the entrance to ICU. I stood up and wrapped the blanket, which one of the nurses had been so kind to get us, around my shoulders and walked out into the hallway. Standing near ICU was the sight I'd been waiting to see. "Dad," I said his name softly but it was loud enough for him to hear. He spun around and made his way towards me, wrapping his arms around me, blanket and all. "You're here," I was so grateful.

"We're here," He rubbed his hand up and down my back and when he pulled away I noticed that his blue eyes were rimmed in red. "Has there been any change?"

I shook my head, "No. He's still asleep but the doctor keeps telling us that as long as his vitals stay strong he'll more than likely come out of his coma." Again I cringed at that word. My dad patted my shoulder as he walked past me and into the waiting room where Louise was still sleeping. I glanced up at Crosby who instinctively put his arms around me, pulling me into his body.

Jake and Norman had gone to get everyone something to eat and drink and the rest of us just sat silently in the chairs, awaiting any news that was to eventually come. My dad sat next to Louise, his arm around her shoulders, her head resting gently against his chest. She looked so fragile and it was getting very hard to watch. I stood up and Crosby looked at me quizzically. "I'm going to go see how he's doing."

He scrunched his eyebrows together, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I need to do this. If not for her," I pointed at Louise, "Then for me." He reached out and gave my hand a squeeze and I handed him my blanket.

I scrubbed my hands and then slipped through the doors and down the hall. My heart rate picked up the closer to his room that I got but I forced myself to remain calm as I rounded the corner and he came into view. I studied him carefully. There seemed to be more color in his cheeks and his eyes and lips didn't look quite so red. They had also removed the breathing tube, due to the fact that his vitals never dropped off.

"Do you think he'll be okay?" I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of Brandon's voice.

I hadn't noticed Brandon sitting in the chair beside Edgar. "I hope so and I think so. You saved him, I hear."

A small smile formed on his lips, "Well, I couldn't let him die."

"I also heard that you almost let yourself get killed in order to save him. I can't say if that was stupid or brave or a little of both." I sat down on Edgar's bed across from Brandon.

"There would have been no way I could have lived with myself had I done nothing and just saved myself. I felt him Lexi, I knew he was there. I had to do something, I had to try. I was just lucky that I managed to grab him and then regrab the pot before we both got swept overboard. I just wish that the water would have gone sooner and then maybe Edgar wouldn't be here." Brandon's face fell as he looked over at Edgar.

"I'm glad you're okay." I leaned over and hugged his neck. "I'd hate to have lost you."

"When you two are done with your moment, could one of you get me something to drink? I feel like I've swallowed an entire desert." Edgar coughed and both Brandon and I stared at him in shock.

"Oh my god, you're awake." I couldn't take my eyes off of him and I couldn't move.

"Water, water would be nice. Yes, I'm awake and by the way how long have I been out and what the hell happened?" Edgar coughed again and I jumped up from the bed and raced down the hall towards the nurse's station. Edgar turned his head to get a better look at Brandon. "Well, what happened? All I seem to remember is a lot of water and it being very cold."

"You and I were tying down the remaining pots and we got slammed by a rogue wave. I managed to grab you and a pot and keep us both on board but you passed out and never woke up. Honestly, none of us thought that you'd ever wake up." Brandon's gaze fell to the floor. He couldn't seem to look the older man in the eye.

"So I have you to thank for saving my life. I guess I was wrong about you after all. I guess I've been wrong all along." Edgar reached out and placed his hand on top of Brandon's. "Is my wife here?"

Brandon nodded just as I came back into the room with water and the doctor. "I'm going to go tell everyone the good news and I'll send Louise in here." I smiled at both Edgar and Brandon. My family was still whole, I hadn't lost an uncle and I'd managed to regain a brother.


	10. Epilogue

"Come on Brandon, you need to do this." I tugged on my brother's hand, pulling him through the large stone gates.

Brandon dragged his feet, "Are you sure? It's been so long, wouldn't this just be weird?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "You said you were going to do it, so stop making excuses and stop whining." He relaxed and let me pull him along.

We were at the Ocean View Cemetery, where my mom and sister had been buried. The cemetery sat at the top of the Olympic peninsula, overlooking the water so that she could see the ships coming home and know that my dad was okay. Neither Brandon nor I had been able to attend the actual funeral. Him for obvious reasons and me, well, because I was stuck in a hospital bed in Seattle. I had, however, visited them many times but Brandon, only having been in Seattle for a short period of time, had yet to make the trip. He had promised though that he would and today was the day that I held him to that promise.

We walked through rows and rows of headstones until we reached the edge, the one that had the best view of the ocean. I knelt down in front of the headstone and placed the daisies we had brought for her in the vase. I brushed the dirt and the dust off the top and picked at a couple weeds that had grown up near the base. I looked up at Brandon and he was gazing out towards the ocean. "What are you thinking about?"

He wouldn't look at me and I could hear why in his voice. It was thick and when he spoke it broke a little. "I was just thinking about how much mom would really love this spot. You guys did really well in picking it."

"She picked it Brandon. In fact, she and dad did, for all of us. They bought this entire section about a year before the accident. She wanted to be buried where she could keep an eye on things." I stood up and placed an arm around Brandon's shoulders. "It's hard, I know. Sometimes, I still feel like she's with me, like they both are."

He sniffled, wiping his nose on his sleeve. "I just can't believe that I was stupid enough to take off and not even be around for their funeral. I regret that Lex, I really do. I should have been here. Mom would have wanted me to be here."

I handed him a tissue, "Please use this. I wanted to be here too but you know mom would have forgiven you. She always wanted us to do what we felt was best in life and you did what you did because you thought you were doing right at the time. Mom, out of anyone, would have understood that."

"I know, that's what makes this so hard." He took the tissue from me. When are you and Crosby leaving?"

I smiled at the mention of Crosby's name, "Probably within the next couple of days. That's the great thing about a road trip, there are no definite plans. I wanted to wait and make sure that Edgar and Louise are okay and that they don't need me for anything. However, Edgar told me yesterday that he's fine and that if I hold off my plans because of him any longer he's going to, I think he used the word throttle, me."

"Dad and I are around if he needs anything, lord knows you've done enough. It's time for you to relax and enjoy yourself a little. We can all function without you being around." He placed an arm around me waist.

"Are you and dad going to be okay?" I had to ask, even though they'd been getting along, I didn't want to leave them alone in the house if they were going to maim one another.

"We'll be fine, you need to stop worrying." Brandon looked down at our mother's headstone. "I miss you mom."

I walked a few feet away and placed the second bundle of flowers on my sister's headstone. I placed my hand on top of it, "It would be so much easier if you were still around. I miss you so much kid, so much." A tear slide down my cheek and I quickly brushed it away. I looked over at Brandon and, he too, was brushing tears from his eyes.

He caught me staring at him, "You ready to go?"

I nodded my head, "Yep." I took his arm and as we walked away I glanced back behind me. The ocean glinted behind the headstones and at the moment, arm in arm with my brother, I knew that everything was going to be fine. I knew that I had two very special angels watching out of me, watching out for all of us.

**The End! I hoped you all enjoyed part two of the Lexi Chronicles. I'm not retiring Lexi or Brandon or the rest of the Hansen family just yet. I have some other ideas for them and their cohorts…so keep your eyes open for more in the future. As soon as things in my life get into a routine and I get time, I will write again. Thank you to everyone for reading and to everyone who reviewed. A special thanks to Mahone-chic-89, CripticWolf, Archermusician, gabbylynn, GracieClaire, Allylynn, Jessewalla, and Lauren Grant for all of your wonderful support and kind words. I'm glad you guys enjoyed reading about Lexi as much as I enjoyed writing about her. Till the next time…. **


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